Crys,
I feel like I am neglecting you at one of the most important times that you could need me. I am so sorry. I am so busy, my head is spinning. But, I am going to try and address a lot of what you have said/posted tonight, I just hope I touch on everything. Hope you are feeling better.
First, in my opinion, John is playing a game with you, and it is not fair. You have poured your heart and soul into this relationship for almost 5 years and he continues to play games. He gets a kick out of seeing you suffer, and cry, and he knows that he is very manipulative and loves the fact that he can get you under your skin. Very twisted, let me tell you that sister.
You will survive. I promise. I remember the 1st time my ex ever left me, I cried for days, heck probably weeks and I got addicted to a Cher CD. Now when this happened Autumn was about 2 and Codey was a newborn. But, I survived, and yes it still bothers me from time to time today. I get even worse when Jeff and I are fighting and I think about him leaving. I automatically think that it would be all my fault and stuff. Which is exactly what you are thinking right now. But it is not your fault. He has antagonized you for a long time, and you have been very patient for a very long time.
I am so proud of you for your weight loss. You are doing fantastic. Keep going girl. I ate like crap today, english mcmuffin from mcdonalds, a bowl from KFC, and now a Whopper. I have weighed in as low as 210.5 but today am back up to 211, and tomorrow I will probably be at 214, so we shall see. Oh, by the way I am off of those stupid pills too, I just can't take the side effects. So I am either going to find a way to live happy fat, or find a way to lose the weight myself.
About your landlord, I would give him like 3 days to fix the stuff and then report him. It is ridiculous that he thinks you "deserve" to live in those conditions let anyone live in those conditions.
Girl, I am getting busy, I am going to say goodbye here. I am so sorry I am being neglectful.
Love ya,
Jenn
P.S. Make sure to check your e-mail!
