hey,
Sorry that I fell of the world again. I feel like such a bad mom. But true blood was on at 9 my time and I was trying to get gab down.She would not go because I started to late and she was over tired. I tried to do all the laundry and get it all away and then put her down and that was a mistake because she was so over tired and un happy. Well I got mad at her. I put her down and told her she had to be a cry baby all alone and then I yelled at John saying WHy cant you ever watch this fucking kid. I feel so bad now for a number of reasons. I feel like I was mean to Gab and talked mean about her. That is the biggest thing that I feel bad about. but i did not get to watch my show because I gave up and went upstairs to lay with her. It made me feel like I am selfish and need to not be.
I said sorry to her and she seems to be fine. SHe wasnt crying because I put her down and said that do you think that she is ok>? JEnn I cant help it I need a break. Even this morning at breakfast with my gram I am telling you it is like WORK for me to go out and eat. I am sweating in an air condictioned room. Gab wants to get out of the high chair and touch everything that is hot my gramma asks me questions about things over and over that she knows the answer to and gab is like all over and I am telling you IO shovel in my food and only stop when it is gone! So it is not good. I do not enjoy myself and I would love love love to go out to eat for breakfast withyou two times while you are here once with Gab and once without so you can see what I mean and so that we can enjoy ourselfs. ARG.
As far as eating goes it was ok
B eggs and homfries toast and coffee
L macaroni John made
D turkey sandwich.
I could have done without the turkey sandwich because I ate it at 10pm. I tried to make the pasta lunch and dinner since I had it at 4 but I couldnt or I was just to tired from the mess with Gab fighting sleep.
ANyway be careful with those pills. If you can just use them for a jump start like you said. I know you will do ok!
I think that you working pt would be a great answer. Maybe you can hire someone for the one day. A gramma or stay at home mom? Look around and ask around sometimes people at the kids school might have a sitter they use and that they can tell you is a safe and respondsible person. I think that you should really look into this option and like you said with the money you are saving you might break even and you probally did not factor in GAS do that and I bet it is about even!
The good news is that true blood is on again at 11:30. THe bad news is that I should have just not tried to watch the early one in the first place. Oh well.I am a bad person some days.
I try so hard and then when I act like an asshole I feel like it cancels ever good thing I do out.
Love ya and I am so happy I have you too. I know that you have Jeff but it is true that sometimes it just has to be a girlfriend that you shoot the breeze with. I hope that you are almost done with your shift! I will talk to you soon.
Night
c
