So, coincidentally we are 20 posts away from hitting 300 and you are 20 lbs away from getting to your goal weight. I hope you got my texts this morning, I think that it would be good for you to try them, but hey I'm biased! Their my ideas.
So today this is what I have/will eat:
B-Dry Frosted cheerios 1 cup
S-Yogurt and String cheese oh and a handful of honey roasted cashews (gave the rest of the bag away)!
L-Sesame chicken and rice from healthy request and a nectarine
S-Nectarine and another piece of string cheese
D-Hmmm...good question. Didn't take anything out.
Can you tell it is grocery shopping time again? The cupboards are bare.
Crys, also try going to bigtent.com and see if you can find the Losing it With Leanne. You can actually purchase (I know sounds silly) meal plans. I think it would take a big stress off, and besides these people are losing 3-7 pounds a week! Can you imagine...between 3 and 7 weeks you could be at your goal weight! How cool would that be?
So today I am having some terrible headaches. BUT, on the upside I am 5 days into this. So hopefully only about 9 to go. Almost 1/2 way there.
Alright I've just got handed something to do so I better do it. Maybe we can talk later. I am going to the gym around 5:30 my time so maybe we can talk between 3pm and5:30 my time.
Love ya girlie,
Jenn
Tuesday, June 30, 2009
Monday, June 29, 2009
Up, Down, Up, Down
Crys,
Thank you for being so worried about me, I appreciate it, but like me you are a natural worrier, and right now, I am telling don't worry yourself about me. I have done extensive research on this and have most of the same symptoms that people have had in the past. The difference between Seratonin Syndrome and Seratonin Withdrawl is that Syndrome is when you up a medication or begin a new one, that one can be fatal. The Withdrawl, is when you obviously stop a medication without first weaning yourself off of it, as in my case. These symptoms usually last between 2-4 weeks and get better everyday. All I can do is hope that this is what will happen with me. If not, then I will weather it till the end.
Let me tell you one thing though, I was/am hooked on Paxil. It is an addictive drug, although everyone may say it is not. I feel like I am missing it, like I absolutely need it. I actually told someone that if this is what it feels like to come off of a prescription med, then I know now why people are drug addicts to not only prescription but also illict as well. I am trying to get through this, and trust me it is hard. My mood swings are all over the place, and trust me I have almost just grabbed the Cymbalta and started taking it because I just don't feel right. I am hoping that it is nothing more than me trying to deal with the withdrawls. I am up and down, up and down. I am back to completely hating myself, life and everything in general. I am telling you, Paxil makes you feel like a whole different person, and I am apt to say that it actuallys takes you to a place of false reality to a point.
Crys, I am right with you when you say that you are having a crappy time with eathing I too am having a crappy time with eating. Between yesterday morning and this morning I have gained 2.5 lbs. You're right I as well have to find the time, the motivation, and the belief that everything I am doing is paying off. I have to be motivated to eat right, go to the gym, and just feel better about me. I am tired of being fat, of being me. I am tired of having to buy jeans that would fit on an elephant, of not being able to buy the cute dresses, shoes, tops, and pants. But, where do I find it? If I don't see results then my whole deal is why try? My contract is almost up at the gym and I was thinking of not renewing. Why should I? But then the right side of my brain kicks in and says "Hello stupid, how are you ever going to get any of those things if you don't keep trying?" I am starting to believe that I am an unique individual. I have left brain right brain battles all the time. No wonder I am such a mess all the time, how can I be ok when my brain sides keep battling each other? I know sounds bizzare, but that is just how I feel.
So far today this is how my eating has gone:
B-Special k cereal and a twix bar
What I have to eat:
S-Apple w/ pb
L-Chicken Salad
S-Pluot
What's for dinner? Unknown
When do I get off? 5pm and I am planning on going to the gym. So when will I eat dinner around 7pm or so.
At the gym I am not going to push it like I used to. As much as I like seeing me do 1 mile in 15 minutes, I don't want to die of a heart attack. I will probably just walk for 45 minutes at a good speed. Somewhere around 3.3mph-3.5mph with the incline at 3%. You know it just occured to me what if I already have heart disease or damage because of my weight and eating habits? Oh that will be wonderful won't it.
Okay I better get to work. I love ya bunches and thank you.
Jenn
Thank you for being so worried about me, I appreciate it, but like me you are a natural worrier, and right now, I am telling don't worry yourself about me. I have done extensive research on this and have most of the same symptoms that people have had in the past. The difference between Seratonin Syndrome and Seratonin Withdrawl is that Syndrome is when you up a medication or begin a new one, that one can be fatal. The Withdrawl, is when you obviously stop a medication without first weaning yourself off of it, as in my case. These symptoms usually last between 2-4 weeks and get better everyday. All I can do is hope that this is what will happen with me. If not, then I will weather it till the end.
Let me tell you one thing though, I was/am hooked on Paxil. It is an addictive drug, although everyone may say it is not. I feel like I am missing it, like I absolutely need it. I actually told someone that if this is what it feels like to come off of a prescription med, then I know now why people are drug addicts to not only prescription but also illict as well. I am trying to get through this, and trust me it is hard. My mood swings are all over the place, and trust me I have almost just grabbed the Cymbalta and started taking it because I just don't feel right. I am hoping that it is nothing more than me trying to deal with the withdrawls. I am up and down, up and down. I am back to completely hating myself, life and everything in general. I am telling you, Paxil makes you feel like a whole different person, and I am apt to say that it actuallys takes you to a place of false reality to a point.
Crys, I am right with you when you say that you are having a crappy time with eathing I too am having a crappy time with eating. Between yesterday morning and this morning I have gained 2.5 lbs. You're right I as well have to find the time, the motivation, and the belief that everything I am doing is paying off. I have to be motivated to eat right, go to the gym, and just feel better about me. I am tired of being fat, of being me. I am tired of having to buy jeans that would fit on an elephant, of not being able to buy the cute dresses, shoes, tops, and pants. But, where do I find it? If I don't see results then my whole deal is why try? My contract is almost up at the gym and I was thinking of not renewing. Why should I? But then the right side of my brain kicks in and says "Hello stupid, how are you ever going to get any of those things if you don't keep trying?" I am starting to believe that I am an unique individual. I have left brain right brain battles all the time. No wonder I am such a mess all the time, how can I be ok when my brain sides keep battling each other? I know sounds bizzare, but that is just how I feel.
So far today this is how my eating has gone:
B-Special k cereal and a twix bar
What I have to eat:
S-Apple w/ pb
L-Chicken Salad
S-Pluot
What's for dinner? Unknown
When do I get off? 5pm and I am planning on going to the gym. So when will I eat dinner around 7pm or so.
At the gym I am not going to push it like I used to. As much as I like seeing me do 1 mile in 15 minutes, I don't want to die of a heart attack. I will probably just walk for 45 minutes at a good speed. Somewhere around 3.3mph-3.5mph with the incline at 3%. You know it just occured to me what if I already have heart disease or damage because of my weight and eating habits? Oh that will be wonderful won't it.
Okay I better get to work. I love ya bunches and thank you.
Jenn
Sunday, June 28, 2009
worried about you
Okay I have to post it here in the hopes that you will read it again and take it to heart. I am very worried about you. There are very bad side effects to what you are doing and the way that you are doing. My cousin got off the same thing with a drs help and it was months, yes months before she was all the way and she still had side effects. I think that she was a bit of a baby about dealing with them but that is neither here nor there....what I am worried about is YOU. I am telling you girl day three is nothing....DAY 5 6 7 that is when the real drama settles in and I dont think that you just taking the other one is going to do what you want it too. I am very very very very very very very very very very worried.
Did I say i am worried about you? Jeff if by chance you read this....Be worried. NOT GOOD!
Okay that is my trying to be your mommy.
Sorry and I hope you forgive me for sticking my nose in your bussiness!
Love ya!
That all being said I ate like crap. I know I have to start again but arg it is taking a long time to get my ass in gear. I did ok but then I had an ice cream cone. I have to get will power. I dont know where it went I had it. ! I did for real! Okay girlie, I love you lots but it is late and I stayed up watching HBO. I love it love it love it.
I am telling you, the shows are so much better than the crap we watch on tv.
K talk to you soon. LOve ya!
C
Did I say i am worried about you? Jeff if by chance you read this....Be worried. NOT GOOD!
Okay that is my trying to be your mommy.
Sorry and I hope you forgive me for sticking my nose in your bussiness!
Love ya!
That all being said I ate like crap. I know I have to start again but arg it is taking a long time to get my ass in gear. I did ok but then I had an ice cream cone. I have to get will power. I dont know where it went I had it. ! I did for real! Okay girlie, I love you lots but it is late and I stayed up watching HBO. I love it love it love it.
I am telling you, the shows are so much better than the crap we watch on tv.
K talk to you soon. LOve ya!
C
Saturday, June 27, 2009
Official
So, Caleb is doing better today. I don't think that he is running a fever, Jeff hasn't told me that he is. So that is great. I think ti was just a 24 hour bug that hit him.
Let me tell you I am going through some nasty, NASTY, wait.........NASTY, withdrawls. But, I feel like I have made the right decision and am willing to bear through it. I figure after a week or two I should be doing better. I am just scared that this will take a turn for the worse. I pray that it doesn't, I'm scared enough as it is.
Crys I am looking more and more forward to the day when I get on that plane and come see you. I am trying to just plan the trip right now and let the rest take its course. I am really trying to letting go of the control factor. As a matter of fact, Jeff told me he was going out tonight and I didn't even think twice about it, I just told him to go and have fun. And for the first time I didn't feel like I was being abandoned, or like he was being unfair. I truly hope he has a great time.
It is scorching here again. As of right now it is just about 104. HOT MAMA! I could truly use a pool right now. Hopefully the country club gets their pool up and going soon.
Crys, I hope that your day is going well. I will be calling you once I get off. So be expecting it! Ha, as tired as I am, I need someone to keep me awake.
Today this is what I ate:
B-Peanut butter on 2 whole wheat pieces of toast
S-Peach
L-Pork chop and cucumbers
S-Peaches in Strawberry jello (3/4 of the cup) and a thing of Peanut Butter (this was bad calorie wise)
D-Chili
I am working on some water right now, just having a hard time drinking it.
Okay, so my big day date is set! February 11, 2012! (February 11 is our original wedding day, in 2012 it just happens to land on a Saturday.) Woo hoo!!!! So I have 2 1/2 years to get everything together! I have already started shopping for save the date cards and invitations that Jeff and I can make together. You would be amazed at how cheap it is when you are willing to do it yourself! We can do 50 for 17.00 whereas if I order them already printed we would spend over $100. It's amazing! Now that is just the cards, we would still have to get the envelopes and seals. So we will see. Either way, it is more personal if we do it ourselves! I am so excited.
Okay, that is it. I will talk to you in a couple of hours! Take care.
Jenn
Let me tell you I am going through some nasty, NASTY, wait.........NASTY, withdrawls. But, I feel like I have made the right decision and am willing to bear through it. I figure after a week or two I should be doing better. I am just scared that this will take a turn for the worse. I pray that it doesn't, I'm scared enough as it is.
Crys I am looking more and more forward to the day when I get on that plane and come see you. I am trying to just plan the trip right now and let the rest take its course. I am really trying to letting go of the control factor. As a matter of fact, Jeff told me he was going out tonight and I didn't even think twice about it, I just told him to go and have fun. And for the first time I didn't feel like I was being abandoned, or like he was being unfair. I truly hope he has a great time.
It is scorching here again. As of right now it is just about 104. HOT MAMA! I could truly use a pool right now. Hopefully the country club gets their pool up and going soon.
Crys, I hope that your day is going well. I will be calling you once I get off. So be expecting it! Ha, as tired as I am, I need someone to keep me awake.
Today this is what I ate:
B-Peanut butter on 2 whole wheat pieces of toast
S-Peach
L-Pork chop and cucumbers
S-Peaches in Strawberry jello (3/4 of the cup) and a thing of Peanut Butter (this was bad calorie wise)
D-Chili
I am working on some water right now, just having a hard time drinking it.
Okay, so my big day date is set! February 11, 2012! (February 11 is our original wedding day, in 2012 it just happens to land on a Saturday.) Woo hoo!!!! So I have 2 1/2 years to get everything together! I have already started shopping for save the date cards and invitations that Jeff and I can make together. You would be amazed at how cheap it is when you are willing to do it yourself! We can do 50 for 17.00 whereas if I order them already printed we would spend over $100. It's amazing! Now that is just the cards, we would still have to get the envelopes and seals. So we will see. Either way, it is more personal if we do it ourselves! I am so excited.
Okay, that is it. I will talk to you in a couple of hours! Take care.
Jenn
Friday, June 26, 2009
Cuteness
So, today as Jeff, Caleb, and I were eating lunch, I told the baby it was hot and he started to blow on it, very very cute! Later, Jeff told him the oven was hot, and he started to blow. How cute is that?
Today is the 2nd day off of my Paxil and I can for sure tell that I don't have anything in my system. I feel like I have a cold, and I feel like I am in a constant anxiety attack. I just feel funny. But I really, really don't want to be on any type of medication. I just don't know if I can do without it. I feel so depressed right now.
I really am having a hard time with the whole work thing. I love my job, I do, I just don't want to go anymore. I'm tired, all the time, I have no time with my kids. Not to mention my house always looks like a hurricane has gone through it. Jeff just doesn't have the time to keep it up. I have no time for my husband, let alone me.
I am also having a hard time with our money situation, again. And of course it is all because I made the decision to buy the car. Stuff always happens like this when I make decisions. Just like I made the decision to go buy the new outfit and shoes, and lo and behold we needed that money. I am wondering if I can take back the outfit, just say that I washed it and when I tried it on I didn't like it, and at least take back the pair of shoes I didn't wear. That would be like almost 70 bucks back on my credit card. I am convinced that I am not supposed to be making decisions.
On a good note, Caleb is up and running around and being his toddling self, a little whiny but definitely returning to himself again. In the last 5 minutes I have had to take away the Tylenol bottle, pick up the dog food dish, and he spilled some of his lunch right now.
Crys, I really hope you had a good time today with your friend at the beach. I know it makes it easier when you are able to get out of the house for a while. I wish that we had something to do around here that wouldn't make us burn to death. I really hate not having anything to do. Jeff is working hard on getting something cool in here, but it wouldn't be done until next year anyway.
I'm worried about Caleb. He walks around pointing to everything and making the "uh?" sound. I talk to him all the time and tell him what things are but he is just not talking. He knows and understands very well what you are saying, he just isn't verbalizing. Okay, he just tried to replicate "cup". I don't know.
Tomorrow I am working a 12 hour shift so that should be "fun." Get up at 515 get home after 8.
Crys I don't know how you do it. You are always happy and for the last month you have had nothing to complain about. We are so close in our personalities and the things we have been through and yet, I hate life, and you embrace it. What the hell? I just want to be remotely happy. And if not happy I just want to be able to deal with stuff and get past it.
Caleb is demanding much of my attention right now. He is whining and pulling up on me, I pick him up and he still whines. UGH!
Well I guess I better get my fat ass off of here and go tend to Caleb. Hopefully I can calm him down and then clean my house.
Love ya bunches,
Jenn
Today is the 2nd day off of my Paxil and I can for sure tell that I don't have anything in my system. I feel like I have a cold, and I feel like I am in a constant anxiety attack. I just feel funny. But I really, really don't want to be on any type of medication. I just don't know if I can do without it. I feel so depressed right now.
I really am having a hard time with the whole work thing. I love my job, I do, I just don't want to go anymore. I'm tired, all the time, I have no time with my kids. Not to mention my house always looks like a hurricane has gone through it. Jeff just doesn't have the time to keep it up. I have no time for my husband, let alone me.
I am also having a hard time with our money situation, again. And of course it is all because I made the decision to buy the car. Stuff always happens like this when I make decisions. Just like I made the decision to go buy the new outfit and shoes, and lo and behold we needed that money. I am wondering if I can take back the outfit, just say that I washed it and when I tried it on I didn't like it, and at least take back the pair of shoes I didn't wear. That would be like almost 70 bucks back on my credit card. I am convinced that I am not supposed to be making decisions.
On a good note, Caleb is up and running around and being his toddling self, a little whiny but definitely returning to himself again. In the last 5 minutes I have had to take away the Tylenol bottle, pick up the dog food dish, and he spilled some of his lunch right now.
Crys, I really hope you had a good time today with your friend at the beach. I know it makes it easier when you are able to get out of the house for a while. I wish that we had something to do around here that wouldn't make us burn to death. I really hate not having anything to do. Jeff is working hard on getting something cool in here, but it wouldn't be done until next year anyway.
I'm worried about Caleb. He walks around pointing to everything and making the "uh?" sound. I talk to him all the time and tell him what things are but he is just not talking. He knows and understands very well what you are saying, he just isn't verbalizing. Okay, he just tried to replicate "cup". I don't know.
Tomorrow I am working a 12 hour shift so that should be "fun." Get up at 515 get home after 8.
Crys I don't know how you do it. You are always happy and for the last month you have had nothing to complain about. We are so close in our personalities and the things we have been through and yet, I hate life, and you embrace it. What the hell? I just want to be remotely happy. And if not happy I just want to be able to deal with stuff and get past it.
Caleb is demanding much of my attention right now. He is whining and pulling up on me, I pick him up and he still whines. UGH!
Well I guess I better get my fat ass off of here and go tend to Caleb. Hopefully I can calm him down and then clean my house.
Love ya bunches,
Jenn
Wednesday, June 24, 2009
they say that misery loves company. here is yours.
Gab hit me today. HIt Me. She looked at me and wacked me and then I said no and she HIT ME again. SO that is what I get for working a nine hour day today which I did by the way!
Then I lost it when I saw how yucky my tub looked and although I really wanted to take a bath and relax instead I scubbed the shit out of the purple tub and now it looks fresh and clean and I am too tired to take a bath. So I came here to you to co miserate. lol.
That being said every thing esle is good here besides for the fact that I ate bad and can not even remeber what the hell I ate today. Whatever. lol. SO I did work off some of those calories.
I know that we need to talk tommorrow because I read over your blog and I know that you are upset but I feel like there is probally other things that you might not have blogged about today. So I would love to talk with you tommorrow if we can and try to figure out some of these things.
I am sorry that caleb has been a challenge and that he is getting into everything and making you burnt out. THat and your job wearing you down. I know that you have it tough. I was gone for a nine hours and it was killing me. I dont know how you do it and it is so amazing and strong. you need to remember how well you are handling it all to the outside world.
I hope that work is going well for you. I am probally going to hit the hay. I am tired and I have an early apointment tommorrow and another long day. Some times I dont want to go back to full time ever but the fact is that like you I want my family to have a house to live in and to get that I have to go back to work fulltime and I need to work hard. the kids will understand some day why we did it and it is important for children to learn that nice things require hard work, and that they will work hard too.
Okay. Love you always and miss you daily. I cannot wait until the day that you and I get to go out shopping and for coffee.....Cannot wait!
Gab hit me today. HIt Me. She looked at me and wacked me and then I said no and she HIT ME again. SO that is what I get for working a nine hour day today which I did by the way!
Then I lost it when I saw how yucky my tub looked and although I really wanted to take a bath and relax instead I scubbed the shit out of the purple tub and now it looks fresh and clean and I am too tired to take a bath. So I came here to you to co miserate. lol.
That being said every thing esle is good here besides for the fact that I ate bad and can not even remeber what the hell I ate today. Whatever. lol. SO I did work off some of those calories.
I know that we need to talk tommorrow because I read over your blog and I know that you are upset but I feel like there is probally other things that you might not have blogged about today. So I would love to talk with you tommorrow if we can and try to figure out some of these things.
I am sorry that caleb has been a challenge and that he is getting into everything and making you burnt out. THat and your job wearing you down. I know that you have it tough. I was gone for a nine hours and it was killing me. I dont know how you do it and it is so amazing and strong. you need to remember how well you are handling it all to the outside world.
I hope that work is going well for you. I am probally going to hit the hay. I am tired and I have an early apointment tommorrow and another long day. Some times I dont want to go back to full time ever but the fact is that like you I want my family to have a house to live in and to get that I have to go back to work fulltime and I need to work hard. the kids will understand some day why we did it and it is important for children to learn that nice things require hard work, and that they will work hard too.
Okay. Love you always and miss you daily. I cannot wait until the day that you and I get to go out shopping and for coffee.....Cannot wait!
Headache
Hey girlie,
Don't worry about the blogging thing, it's fine. Besides I am happy just to hear from you.
Girl, I am having a hard day. I have been stressed, anxious, upset, frustrated, irritated, aggrevated...hohum....I know there is more I just can't put it into words. I have been out ALL DAY with the kids trying to find something to do with them. I took them to Brantley Lake, that was a failure, I couldn't find where the swimming portion of the lake was, then we ventured over to "The Tubes". Yeah well that was DISGUSTING. It is a place where I guess people go to get drunk, high, and have sex. There was broken glass everywhere, empty bottles of Gatorade, beer and other things. So I finally ventured to "The Beach" where the Pecos River is diverted from the rest of the River and gives the kids a safe place to play. Caleb loved it, and the kids had a blast. I think I will try and take them back there tomorrow. Maybe if there isn't a lot of people in the water or area I will get in, but I am not about to do that with a shit load of people there.
I know what you feel about the toddling. Caleb has been on the move so much lately it makes me dizzy at times to watch him. And, just like the other kids he just plain doesn't listen. You tell him no, and he just looks at you and keeps doing it. As right now he keeps going into the kitchen that is blocked off, and I can tell him no and move him all I want he just keeps going.
I don't know how much more I can take. I am literally at my wits end, on so many different levels. Oh, now Caleb is behind me emptying the movie case. So 3 rows of DVDs will soon be on the floor. AAAAAAAAAAAAAAGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! When will it ever stop? I was telling Jeff that I am actually burned out at my job right now and don't want to do it anymore, at times. I am burned out in life in general. AGAIN.
I have such a headache today it isn't funny. Actually, I have had a headache for most of the week. Caleb is back in the kitchen! UGH! Sigh!
Well obviously all I am doing is complaining and strumming the "woe is me" fiddle, so I am going to just stop typing. Sorry.
Hope you have a great rest of the day. I get to go to work in 1 1/2 hours.
Talk to you soon.
Jenn
Don't worry about the blogging thing, it's fine. Besides I am happy just to hear from you.
Girl, I am having a hard day. I have been stressed, anxious, upset, frustrated, irritated, aggrevated...hohum....I know there is more I just can't put it into words. I have been out ALL DAY with the kids trying to find something to do with them. I took them to Brantley Lake, that was a failure, I couldn't find where the swimming portion of the lake was, then we ventured over to "The Tubes". Yeah well that was DISGUSTING. It is a place where I guess people go to get drunk, high, and have sex. There was broken glass everywhere, empty bottles of Gatorade, beer and other things. So I finally ventured to "The Beach" where the Pecos River is diverted from the rest of the River and gives the kids a safe place to play. Caleb loved it, and the kids had a blast. I think I will try and take them back there tomorrow. Maybe if there isn't a lot of people in the water or area I will get in, but I am not about to do that with a shit load of people there.
I know what you feel about the toddling. Caleb has been on the move so much lately it makes me dizzy at times to watch him. And, just like the other kids he just plain doesn't listen. You tell him no, and he just looks at you and keeps doing it. As right now he keeps going into the kitchen that is blocked off, and I can tell him no and move him all I want he just keeps going.
I don't know how much more I can take. I am literally at my wits end, on so many different levels. Oh, now Caleb is behind me emptying the movie case. So 3 rows of DVDs will soon be on the floor. AAAAAAAAAAAAAAGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! When will it ever stop? I was telling Jeff that I am actually burned out at my job right now and don't want to do it anymore, at times. I am burned out in life in general. AGAIN.
I have such a headache today it isn't funny. Actually, I have had a headache for most of the week. Caleb is back in the kitchen! UGH! Sigh!
Well obviously all I am doing is complaining and strumming the "woe is me" fiddle, so I am going to just stop typing. Sorry.
Hope you have a great rest of the day. I get to go to work in 1 1/2 hours.
Talk to you soon.
Jenn
Tuesday, June 23, 2009
Hello!
Hey girlie! Hot diggityy.....
I had an ok day but gab was a challenge as toddlers can be....oh my they are toddlers! Thanks for taking the pressure off about the blogging....I ate bad but I weight 157.8 again today so at least it is not 160.
I am going to BED....
Love ya and miss ya....
SEPT cannot come fast enough!
C
I had an ok day but gab was a challenge as toddlers can be....oh my they are toddlers! Thanks for taking the pressure off about the blogging....I ate bad but I weight 157.8 again today so at least it is not 160.
I am going to BED....
Love ya and miss ya....
SEPT cannot come fast enough!
C
Monday, June 22, 2009
Ecstatic
Crystal, I am soooo happy to have you back on here. Please don't feel like you have to post just about your weight or eating, it is also here for you to post about anything. Even if it is just a smiley face!
I am glad that you had a good time last night! We just cooked out, and I made these delicious sweet potato patties. to go along with some teriyaki chicken and scallions.
So today this is what I had/have:
B-Cinnamon Raisin English Muffin
S-Apple
L-Leftovers from dinner last night and a cucumber/tomato salad
S-2 small pieces of chocolate
I still have a pluot and a peach, so I will probably be eating one of those in the near future
Dinner, I took out some more seasoned chicken, can you tell I am really trying to stay away from red meat? I have some baby red potatoes that I can boil and put some salsa and cheese on top...mmmmm!
Okay, so today I definitely do have my clothes to go to the gym. Jeff made mention (while in an argument I might add) that he thinks I should not go to the gym when he is home. A part of me thinks that it is wrong for him to ask that of me, but a bigger part of me understands. So, unless he is working on a weekend or out of town, those days are out of the question, BUT I can go after or before work on the weekdays. So, I am going tonight. Right now I am trying to finish a liter of water before I leave work.
I will help you with the cellphone thing, just let me know when. I of course am not off until Wednesday again, and I am working that night from 6-10 my time. BUT I am off all day on Thursday. Well I have a dentist appointment at 9 in the morning and then I am going with Jeff to his annual meeting that evening, but I am free anytime between those 2 things. Speaking of annual meeting I would love to go get a new outfit for it....ARGH!
Alrighty girl, that is all. I will talk to you soon I hope.
Love ya,
Jenn
I am glad that you had a good time last night! We just cooked out, and I made these delicious sweet potato patties. to go along with some teriyaki chicken and scallions.
So today this is what I had/have:
B-Cinnamon Raisin English Muffin
S-Apple
L-Leftovers from dinner last night and a cucumber/tomato salad
S-2 small pieces of chocolate
I still have a pluot and a peach, so I will probably be eating one of those in the near future
Dinner, I took out some more seasoned chicken, can you tell I am really trying to stay away from red meat? I have some baby red potatoes that I can boil and put some salsa and cheese on top...mmmmm!
Okay, so today I definitely do have my clothes to go to the gym. Jeff made mention (while in an argument I might add) that he thinks I should not go to the gym when he is home. A part of me thinks that it is wrong for him to ask that of me, but a bigger part of me understands. So, unless he is working on a weekend or out of town, those days are out of the question, BUT I can go after or before work on the weekdays. So, I am going tonight. Right now I am trying to finish a liter of water before I leave work.
I will help you with the cellphone thing, just let me know when. I of course am not off until Wednesday again, and I am working that night from 6-10 my time. BUT I am off all day on Thursday. Well I have a dentist appointment at 9 in the morning and then I am going with Jeff to his annual meeting that evening, but I am free anytime between those 2 things. Speaking of annual meeting I would love to go get a new outfit for it....ARGH!
Alrighty girl, that is all. I will talk to you soon I hope.
Love ya,
Jenn
back on track? Not quite but trying....
I know that I have been missing and I always have to get back into things when I fall off like this. I am so surprised that I did this because I was going strong for a while even when you were missing and now I have to catch up reading like ten posts from you. I am so sorry that I have been such a bad side tracked friend. Sorry again.
It looks to be from the glance that I took at the last few posts that you have that you have been doing really well and for that I am really proud of you. I did see that you need a hug but I know that I cant give you a real one so here is a computer one.....HUG..... I know it is not all that good. lol.
I really want to get back in here but I think that the hardest part is that I have been eating really bad and I am not wanting to be honest about it.
but here goes.
Today so far
B two eggs two slices white toast and two light sausage w coffee
S no
L egg white flatbread some coffee and a banana
So it is not good but not that bad yet but it is the end of the day that kills me and All I can think is that I might do better if I can get this going again and be honest with you and who ever esle might stumble onto this blog about what I am putting into my mouth. Arg. I need your help with connecting the cell phone because for the life of me I cannot get it and yours is working it is clearly something that I am doing wrong.
I did have a nice time last night and I was happy. I hope that you guys did find time for each other and that you got your hug then. Gab is stirring and has been sleeping for a while. I have to get her lunch and get going. I hope that making myself accountable again to you will help. But the other big problem is that I am not exercising at all and I seem to have no drive to do so. I dont know what to do to get my act together.
I love ya and miss you!
Crystal
It looks to be from the glance that I took at the last few posts that you have that you have been doing really well and for that I am really proud of you. I did see that you need a hug but I know that I cant give you a real one so here is a computer one.....HUG..... I know it is not all that good. lol.
I really want to get back in here but I think that the hardest part is that I have been eating really bad and I am not wanting to be honest about it.
but here goes.
Today so far
B two eggs two slices white toast and two light sausage w coffee
S no
L egg white flatbread some coffee and a banana
So it is not good but not that bad yet but it is the end of the day that kills me and All I can think is that I might do better if I can get this going again and be honest with you and who ever esle might stumble onto this blog about what I am putting into my mouth. Arg. I need your help with connecting the cell phone because for the life of me I cannot get it and yours is working it is clearly something that I am doing wrong.
I did have a nice time last night and I was happy. I hope that you guys did find time for each other and that you got your hug then. Gab is stirring and has been sleeping for a while. I have to get her lunch and get going. I hope that making myself accountable again to you will help. But the other big problem is that I am not exercising at all and I seem to have no drive to do so. I dont know what to do to get my act together.
I love ya and miss you!
Crystal
Sunday, June 21, 2009
HAPPY FATHERS DAY
First, I want to tell Jeff and John, Happy Fathers Day. Jeff, I know that you are a good father, and will continue to be. I couldn't ask for more. John, although you are new at being a dad, when I hear you play or talk with Gab, you sound happy and full of life.
So, yesterday went well with the eating. The only thing I ate in addition to my list was a 90 calorie fat free chocolate pudding.
As far as my personal inventory, well I only got 3 of the 4 done, AND I didn't get to go to church because I had to cook dinner, and clean up. Time just seems to fly by me after I get home. Nor did I get to go to the gym. I really didn't get to do the things I wanted to do. That has got to change. I deserve to go to church and the gym. I will re-evalutate what I can do to make more time.
So today this is what I have for my food inventory:
B-Whole Wheat Bagel with Low Fat Cream Cheese
S-Peaches in Strawberry Gel, a peach, a banana, and a 90 calorie FF pudding
L-Antepasta salad with Tuna
S-something from my 1st snack list
Tonight for sure we are going to have the chicken. It was still frozen last night when I went to cook it, but I have it marinating in Teriyaki sauce in the fridge and will cook it tonight.
For my personal inventory:
*I need a hug
*I need some stress relief (the gym would be perfect!)
So, all in all I guess I'm doing pretty good today, I'm not in need of much! WOOHOO!
Crys, I really hope that you had a great time at the baby shower last night. Hope everyone is doing great. I miss hearing from ya on here.
Talk to you later.
Love ya,
Jenn
So, yesterday went well with the eating. The only thing I ate in addition to my list was a 90 calorie fat free chocolate pudding.
As far as my personal inventory, well I only got 3 of the 4 done, AND I didn't get to go to church because I had to cook dinner, and clean up. Time just seems to fly by me after I get home. Nor did I get to go to the gym. I really didn't get to do the things I wanted to do. That has got to change. I deserve to go to church and the gym. I will re-evalutate what I can do to make more time.
So today this is what I have for my food inventory:
B-Whole Wheat Bagel with Low Fat Cream Cheese
S-Peaches in Strawberry Gel, a peach, a banana, and a 90 calorie FF pudding
L-Antepasta salad with Tuna
S-something from my 1st snack list
Tonight for sure we are going to have the chicken. It was still frozen last night when I went to cook it, but I have it marinating in Teriyaki sauce in the fridge and will cook it tonight.
For my personal inventory:
*I need a hug
*I need some stress relief (the gym would be perfect!)
So, all in all I guess I'm doing pretty good today, I'm not in need of much! WOOHOO!
Crys, I really hope that you had a great time at the baby shower last night. Hope everyone is doing great. I miss hearing from ya on here.
Talk to you later.
Love ya,
Jenn
Saturday, June 20, 2009
Inventory
Okay, so I was thinking about my inventory for food this morning as I was getting ready for work, and it hit me, how many times do I stop to think about my personal inventory. What do I need in order to get through my day. Have you ever stopped to think about that?
So, for food, I have the following:
B-Cinnamon Raisin English Muffin
S-Strawberries, cherries, and an apple
L-Whole Wheat Bagel with Turkey meat (dry, no mustard or mayonnaise)
S-Broccoli (I hope it is still good) & Hummus
I have a little less than a liter of water, but I have the 5 gallon bottled water in the radio room. So, in the are of food, check, check, and check.
In thinking about my personal inventory I figured for today I needed:
*A positive attitude/outlook
*To smile...at least once
*To listen to some music (helps get me going)
*Have a conversation with a friend
For dinner I asked Jeff to take out some seasoned chicken, and we can throw it on the grill. I am thinking that I have some sweet potatoes that I can cook to go along with it, and I have a little salad leftover from the other day that I can throw together real fast for a side dish.
I am hoping that I can get to church tonight, whether or not Jeff goes, I have an inkling that I have to go. I am also hoping to get back to the gym soon. That may be something that I do later this evening. I forgot to take my vitamins this morning, and I am tired, so I wish I would have remembered to grab the package.
I have been thinking about my grandmother a lot, and having lots of flashbacks. I miss her so much. I believe that I have not grieved completley yet, seeing how I am still having feelings of sadness, and at times, bouts of anger. The sadness comes when I feel like I could really use a wise and fair person to talk to, or just need a hug. At times I feel angry at the fact that she smoked, and was selfish. I don't know whether or not she would have lived longer if she wouldn't have. I am angry at times that she is just plain gone, and I will never be able to hug her, or stroke her hair, or have a conversation with her again. I know that she is in a better place, I know this, but I don't like it.
Okay, I guess that is all for now. I miss talking to ya girlie, you seem to be 10x more busy since you got that rock on your hand! I've been put on the back burner! Just kidding!
Love ya girlie, all hell just broke lose at work.
Jenn
So, for food, I have the following:
B-Cinnamon Raisin English Muffin
S-Strawberries, cherries, and an apple
L-Whole Wheat Bagel with Turkey meat (dry, no mustard or mayonnaise)
S-Broccoli (I hope it is still good) & Hummus
I have a little less than a liter of water, but I have the 5 gallon bottled water in the radio room. So, in the are of food, check, check, and check.
In thinking about my personal inventory I figured for today I needed:
*A positive attitude/outlook
*To smile...at least once
*To listen to some music (helps get me going)
*Have a conversation with a friend
For dinner I asked Jeff to take out some seasoned chicken, and we can throw it on the grill. I am thinking that I have some sweet potatoes that I can cook to go along with it, and I have a little salad leftover from the other day that I can throw together real fast for a side dish.
I am hoping that I can get to church tonight, whether or not Jeff goes, I have an inkling that I have to go. I am also hoping to get back to the gym soon. That may be something that I do later this evening. I forgot to take my vitamins this morning, and I am tired, so I wish I would have remembered to grab the package.
I have been thinking about my grandmother a lot, and having lots of flashbacks. I miss her so much. I believe that I have not grieved completley yet, seeing how I am still having feelings of sadness, and at times, bouts of anger. The sadness comes when I feel like I could really use a wise and fair person to talk to, or just need a hug. At times I feel angry at the fact that she smoked, and was selfish. I don't know whether or not she would have lived longer if she wouldn't have. I am angry at times that she is just plain gone, and I will never be able to hug her, or stroke her hair, or have a conversation with her again. I know that she is in a better place, I know this, but I don't like it.
Okay, I guess that is all for now. I miss talking to ya girlie, you seem to be 10x more busy since you got that rock on your hand! I've been put on the back burner! Just kidding!
Love ya girlie, all hell just broke lose at work.
Jenn
Thursday, June 18, 2009
Real Fast
Breakfast: 2 waffles
Lunch: a slew of things from Furrs cafeteria
Dinner: a salad and ff pudding
Ok so maybe I'm not ready to completely throw in the towel. I went shopping today and I bought a lot of fruits and vegetables. so I am not giving myself many bad options and since money is tight this week I don't have much of a choice than to eat what I have bought.
Crys I am still missing talking to ya. hope you're doing ok. I hope too that Gab is doing better, poor baby.
alright I need to go to bed, I have to work tomorrow so I will try to call tomorrow evening sometime.
Love ya
Jenn
Lunch: a slew of things from Furrs cafeteria
Dinner: a salad and ff pudding
Ok so maybe I'm not ready to completely throw in the towel. I went shopping today and I bought a lot of fruits and vegetables. so I am not giving myself many bad options and since money is tight this week I don't have much of a choice than to eat what I have bought.
Crys I am still missing talking to ya. hope you're doing ok. I hope too that Gab is doing better, poor baby.
alright I need to go to bed, I have to work tomorrow so I will try to call tomorrow evening sometime.
Love ya
Jenn
Tuesday, June 16, 2009
What is going on?
What is going on? I dont want you to throw in the towel because you have been trying so hard and I know that you struggling but it is not time to give up! i am also feeling bummed seeing as the fact that I have been at the same weight for the longest time. Very bad. I talked with my cousin today and she said that she would start taking walks with me at the end of the month when she is done with school. That is what I need.
i hope you text me back soon. Sounds like you need to talk.
C
i hope you text me back soon. Sounds like you need to talk.
C
I can't
do this right now. I personally can't do this. I am becoming very anxious and depressed about trying to lose weight and going no where. So...right now I am throwing in the towel. I will still support you and I will still post on here. There is just too much going on right now that I can't focus on this. I don't want to, but I just don't think I can do it.
Love ya,
Jenn
Love ya,
Jenn
Sunday, June 14, 2009
HELP!!!!!!!!!!
Crys,
I have become ADDICTED to chocolate. I NEED chocolate everyday. I can't go without it. I have NEVER been like this! What do I do? HELP!
I have become ADDICTED to chocolate. I NEED chocolate everyday. I can't go without it. I have NEVER been like this! What do I do? HELP!
You bet....
Crys,
First, do not feel so disheartened. You CAN DO THIS! If WW is going to help you then do it. I tried it and to be honest I didn't have the time it takes to sit down and look through all the stuff and plot down all of the information and keep up with it. It was just so difficult. BUT, you have a different lifestyle, you seem to be able to find time, DO IT! Crys, you have a minimum of 2 years BEFORE your wedding, you are going to be 135 by the time you get married and you are going to look stunning.
You bet we are going to get to hang out one day! I am already trying to make serious plans for September. I have already found a package that would allow me to stay at the Omni for 6 nights for $850. THAT IS AWESOME!!!! OR, we could meet in the middle somewhere. I know that it would be very difficult because of the baby, but it is always an option. It is my birthday gift to myself and then my other gifts of course will be from the kids and Jeff.
I have looked into monetizing the website as you had suggested, I just have to do it at home because I have to enable cookies and I can't do that at work. You can do it to if you log in and go to your account I believe and click on monetize.
Okay so today this is what I have eaten so far:
B-Pinapple and strawberries
S-None
L-Chinese ( 7 pieces of Sesame chicken and a good sized helping of fried rice)
S-Unsure
D-Hmmmmm
Okay girlie, I will try and get on here later. I really miss you too, but we will find time to talk, I will call you when I'm off of work. Yesterday was nice (or was it the day before?) I am definitely unsure of what day it is, let alone remember when we talked last.
First, do not feel so disheartened. You CAN DO THIS! If WW is going to help you then do it. I tried it and to be honest I didn't have the time it takes to sit down and look through all the stuff and plot down all of the information and keep up with it. It was just so difficult. BUT, you have a different lifestyle, you seem to be able to find time, DO IT! Crys, you have a minimum of 2 years BEFORE your wedding, you are going to be 135 by the time you get married and you are going to look stunning.
You bet we are going to get to hang out one day! I am already trying to make serious plans for September. I have already found a package that would allow me to stay at the Omni for 6 nights for $850. THAT IS AWESOME!!!! OR, we could meet in the middle somewhere. I know that it would be very difficult because of the baby, but it is always an option. It is my birthday gift to myself and then my other gifts of course will be from the kids and Jeff.
I have looked into monetizing the website as you had suggested, I just have to do it at home because I have to enable cookies and I can't do that at work. You can do it to if you log in and go to your account I believe and click on monetize.
Okay so today this is what I have eaten so far:
B-Pinapple and strawberries
S-None
L-Chinese ( 7 pieces of Sesame chicken and a good sized helping of fried rice)
S-Unsure
D-Hmmmmm
Okay girlie, I will try and get on here later. I really miss you too, but we will find time to talk, I will call you when I'm off of work. Yesterday was nice (or was it the day before?) I am definitely unsure of what day it is, let alone remember when we talked last.
Saturday, June 13, 2009
I really want to
lose the rest of this weight....
I get really upset to think that I was on such a roll and now for like the last month and almost two months i have not lost a pound. It is so disheartening to think that I would be like 145 by now if I kept up the pace. My gramma told me that I was getting skinny today but then I get bummed because I know that I am not getting thinner it is just the clothes or the day. I also get down because the birth control does make me hold water and I know that for sure. So I am just under 160 again and it makes me sad.
Sorry to rant and rave and I should be in bed but I know that you are working and chances are that you might read this so I am posting. I dont know what made me think about this now but oh well. I guess it would be nice to be really thin in a wedding dress but whatever. I know at this weight I would look really good but I want to be thinner.
Arg.
Do you think that we are gonna get to hang out one day? because I really hope that we do. I know that you are suffering with money and all that. I think that if I get in a better postion after the wedding that I will come and see you. I know that is a long time in the future but I dont want you to have it all on your shoulder like.... Ah we will get there someday huh?
I dont know I dont know.....
I will talk to you soon. I miss you alot and I really think that I am gonna join weight watchers for the rest of this weight. We will see.
Love ya
Crystal
I get really upset to think that I was on such a roll and now for like the last month and almost two months i have not lost a pound. It is so disheartening to think that I would be like 145 by now if I kept up the pace. My gramma told me that I was getting skinny today but then I get bummed because I know that I am not getting thinner it is just the clothes or the day. I also get down because the birth control does make me hold water and I know that for sure. So I am just under 160 again and it makes me sad.
Sorry to rant and rave and I should be in bed but I know that you are working and chances are that you might read this so I am posting. I dont know what made me think about this now but oh well. I guess it would be nice to be really thin in a wedding dress but whatever. I know at this weight I would look really good but I want to be thinner.
Arg.
Do you think that we are gonna get to hang out one day? because I really hope that we do. I know that you are suffering with money and all that. I think that if I get in a better postion after the wedding that I will come and see you. I know that is a long time in the future but I dont want you to have it all on your shoulder like.... Ah we will get there someday huh?
I dont know I dont know.....
I will talk to you soon. I miss you alot and I really think that I am gonna join weight watchers for the rest of this weight. We will see.
Love ya
Crystal
agony
Yup.
That problem that I was telling you that I have from gab....it is horrible and I am in such pain I cannot even bare it. I am calling my ob tommorrow to see if they can do anything esle or suggest anything esle to help me get threw the next few days. Arg. I used the wrong threw but I dont want to fix it.
Hey Beccah had an idea in her case it was bad but in ours...Can we find a way to promote our blog and get ads on our blog about dieting and all that and get loot for it?
I am no beccah as a writer or web designer but good ness at two cents a pop for the blog I will refresh all day and sent it out to a million people! All we have to do is a little research and I will work harder on the blog entries to make them funnier to read....lol.
WE can spilt the proceeds in half and stop complaining to each other about money. Can you imagine what a GOLD mind spark people is....LOL. We gotta DO IT...
Anyway today I ate pretty good. i had alot of water melon and that was not guilty feeling.
I am tired and in pain so I wont talk alot tonight.
I am sorry that I made you worry about the whole not liking me thing, but you pulled away and I knew it and I took it the wrong way. I think we are on the right path again.
I hope that you have a good night at work. I hope that it goes fast. I will talk to you tommorow around 3 my time....
Night
C
That problem that I was telling you that I have from gab....it is horrible and I am in such pain I cannot even bare it. I am calling my ob tommorrow to see if they can do anything esle or suggest anything esle to help me get threw the next few days. Arg. I used the wrong threw but I dont want to fix it.
Hey Beccah had an idea in her case it was bad but in ours...Can we find a way to promote our blog and get ads on our blog about dieting and all that and get loot for it?
I am no beccah as a writer or web designer but good ness at two cents a pop for the blog I will refresh all day and sent it out to a million people! All we have to do is a little research and I will work harder on the blog entries to make them funnier to read....lol.
WE can spilt the proceeds in half and stop complaining to each other about money. Can you imagine what a GOLD mind spark people is....LOL. We gotta DO IT...
Anyway today I ate pretty good. i had alot of water melon and that was not guilty feeling.
I am tired and in pain so I wont talk alot tonight.
I am sorry that I made you worry about the whole not liking me thing, but you pulled away and I knew it and I took it the wrong way. I think we are on the right path again.
I hope that you have a good night at work. I hope that it goes fast. I will talk to you tommorow around 3 my time....
Night
C
Friday, June 12, 2009
I'm sorry
Crys,
I'm not sure if you're getting my texts or not...and I REALLY REALLY HOPE you're not ignoring them, so I thought I would come here and post.
I am so very sorry that I have made you feel like I don't like you. To be honest, that is not it at all and couldn't be further from the truth. You're right I don't like you...I LOVE YOU. You are a huge part of my life. I think about you almost, if not as much as I think about Jeff and the kids. I always think about how you're doing, and wonder if things are ok in your neck of the woods. When I don't get to talk to you, I don't know if you're mad, sad, busy, or just having a hard time.
I HAVE to try and make more time for you, and I am really trying. It is hard though with my schedule, your schedule, my family, your family. We both seem to be so damn busy. I am going to talk over with Jeff the possibility of me coming to see you in September. Maybe the middle part. I will have much more time saved up and will be able to put some money away. But, in part, that would be my birthday gift to myself for my 30th birthday.
Crys, I know what it feels like to not feel like your liked and I don't want you to have that feeling, especially with me. So, if you can tell me please what I can do so you don't feel like that anymore.
Okay, onto other things. You did excellent yesterday with your eating...keep up the good work. You can do this. You ONLY have 20 lbs to go, no sweat, right? I hope that all is good in your neck of the woods.
If you need anything I am work until 11 tonight and I have my phone so we can at least text.
Love ya bunches girlie.
Jenn
I'm not sure if you're getting my texts or not...and I REALLY REALLY HOPE you're not ignoring them, so I thought I would come here and post.
I am so very sorry that I have made you feel like I don't like you. To be honest, that is not it at all and couldn't be further from the truth. You're right I don't like you...I LOVE YOU. You are a huge part of my life. I think about you almost, if not as much as I think about Jeff and the kids. I always think about how you're doing, and wonder if things are ok in your neck of the woods. When I don't get to talk to you, I don't know if you're mad, sad, busy, or just having a hard time.
I HAVE to try and make more time for you, and I am really trying. It is hard though with my schedule, your schedule, my family, your family. We both seem to be so damn busy. I am going to talk over with Jeff the possibility of me coming to see you in September. Maybe the middle part. I will have much more time saved up and will be able to put some money away. But, in part, that would be my birthday gift to myself for my 30th birthday.
Crys, I know what it feels like to not feel like your liked and I don't want you to have that feeling, especially with me. So, if you can tell me please what I can do so you don't feel like that anymore.
Okay, onto other things. You did excellent yesterday with your eating...keep up the good work. You can do this. You ONLY have 20 lbs to go, no sweat, right? I hope that all is good in your neck of the woods.
If you need anything I am work until 11 tonight and I have my phone so we can at least text.
Love ya bunches girlie.
Jenn
So far today
Crys,
So far today this is what I have eaten:
B-Low Fat English Muffin with Heart smart butter and 3/4 of a peach
S-Starcrunch (BAD)
L-Turkey, pepper jack cheese, low fat mayonnaise and sugar free wheat bread with a side of 1/2 a cucumber and a roma tomato in ff poppyseed dressing.
Plans for dinner:
Spicy stiry fry with chicken
S-Cherries
Talk to ya soon.
Love ya,
Jenn
So far today this is what I have eaten:
B-Low Fat English Muffin with Heart smart butter and 3/4 of a peach
S-Starcrunch (BAD)
L-Turkey, pepper jack cheese, low fat mayonnaise and sugar free wheat bread with a side of 1/2 a cucumber and a roma tomato in ff poppyseed dressing.
Plans for dinner:
Spicy stiry fry with chicken
S-Cherries
Talk to ya soon.
Love ya,
Jenn
Thursday, June 11, 2009
food
SO I ate good today....
B few egg whites
S banana
L turkey sandwich and cucembers
S coffee
D BLT and home made fries
S tomato and diet fudge a cal....
That is a start back on the right track and I drank alot of water today and that is a start too. I will let you know how tommorrow goes. I missed you call before I was bringing the stupidd laundry in the house to fold it. There is an article online about the april rose thing. you can find the link on the gibson twins bllogspot. I am going to go to bed...
I hope I can get you on the phone tommorrow....I feel like you dont really like me anymore and it makes me sad.....
C
B few egg whites
S banana
L turkey sandwich and cucembers
S coffee
D BLT and home made fries
S tomato and diet fudge a cal....
That is a start back on the right track and I drank alot of water today and that is a start too. I will let you know how tommorrow goes. I missed you call before I was bringing the stupidd laundry in the house to fold it. There is an article online about the april rose thing. you can find the link on the gibson twins bllogspot. I am going to go to bed...
I hope I can get you on the phone tommorrow....I feel like you dont really like me anymore and it makes me sad.....
C
Wednesday, June 10, 2009
So far today...numerous postings
B-Peach
S-Honey Nut Cheerios
L-Oven roasted chicken breast salad, no cheese, and olive and vinegar dressing
Not sure how the rest of the day will go.
Hope you're having a fantastic day!
S-Honey Nut Cheerios
L-Oven roasted chicken breast salad, no cheese, and olive and vinegar dressing
Not sure how the rest of the day will go.
Hope you're having a fantastic day!
Back to square 1
So, take my last weight add 7 and there you go, you get triple 2's. How depressing, frustrating and angering. I am going to have to work hard in order to get back down to where I was. But I can do it, I know I can, none the less I am back at square 1.
About the April Rose thing, I am having a hard time believing it, but there are people who will do it. What I can't get over is that "she" did the H.W.W., and the prayer requests. She had the sono on the sidebar. I mean it just seems too real, but there are good con artists out there. If it is real, that there was a baby, then I feel for those parents; if it was a con, then I believe in Karma 100%, and it will come back around.
I am hoping that you are doing ok Crys, I miss talking to you.
I am not going to post very much, there isn't a lot to say, I am just not in a talkative mood right now.
Love ya,
Jenn
About the April Rose thing, I am having a hard time believing it, but there are people who will do it. What I can't get over is that "she" did the H.W.W., and the prayer requests. She had the sono on the sidebar. I mean it just seems too real, but there are good con artists out there. If it is real, that there was a baby, then I feel for those parents; if it was a con, then I believe in Karma 100%, and it will come back around.
I am hoping that you are doing ok Crys, I miss talking to you.
I am not going to post very much, there isn't a lot to say, I am just not in a talkative mood right now.
Love ya,
Jenn
Tuesday, June 9, 2009
lied to
So we have been lied to and I am mad but mornful in the same right. The story of april rose was a lie and I have been following it for months since it started. It is all a lie. the Whole thing.
I feel so bad for the people like us that were invested in the story and worried for this mom this faker. The baby that we worried for and talked about....There was no baby.
ARg I cant take it.
I did ok with my food today and I have had enough blogging. I cannot believe the among of trouble and heart ache that this foolish girl caused.
C
I feel so bad for the people like us that were invested in the story and worried for this mom this faker. The baby that we worried for and talked about....There was no baby.
ARg I cant take it.
I did ok with my food today and I have had enough blogging. I cannot believe the among of trouble and heart ache that this foolish girl caused.
C
Monday, June 8, 2009
April rose.....Is it real? I want to believe...
Okay,
I feel really bad saying this as you know but something hit me as odd this morning and i told you that and now I dont know what to think.
There is a website that has been set up by a blogger that does not believe in the april rose story. She posted pics of this doll that looks just like the baby pic of april that was posted on the blog last night and then quickly taken off. I got to see it last night and then the others that were put up this morning , remember I told you she looks like a pretty normal baby? But now all the sudden they are off the page and I dont know what to think. I dont think that someone could do such a thing but Jenn, the pics look like the doll. I dont know. You look when you get a chance and then tell me.
I ate ok. I have been really behind with this and busy so I will get on the ball again tommorrow. I cant wait to get on the ball again. I am having the same problem now because I have not gotten to the store. We will see.
Okay talk to soon I hope. you must have gotten busy before I guess.
C
I feel really bad saying this as you know but something hit me as odd this morning and i told you that and now I dont know what to think.
There is a website that has been set up by a blogger that does not believe in the april rose story. She posted pics of this doll that looks just like the baby pic of april that was posted on the blog last night and then quickly taken off. I got to see it last night and then the others that were put up this morning , remember I told you she looks like a pretty normal baby? But now all the sudden they are off the page and I dont know what to think. I dont think that someone could do such a thing but Jenn, the pics look like the doll. I dont know. You look when you get a chance and then tell me.
I ate ok. I have been really behind with this and busy so I will get on the ball again tommorrow. I cant wait to get on the ball again. I am having the same problem now because I have not gotten to the store. We will see.
Okay talk to soon I hope. you must have gotten busy before I guess.
C
Friday, June 5, 2009
We can plan together!
I hope that you and Jeff talk about the date because if it is close then we can plan together! I know you guys are married for real but I understand that you would want to have the big day too. I did not tell you when the day is because I dont know when it is yet....right after John asked me he came down with a horrible bug and we just got back from the Er because they thought that he might have the SWINE flu but nope it is not it he is just sick as a dog. So we have talked a little about it but this is where we got. He says fall 2013 lol....I say fall 2011 and I think that mine is going to win it is just going to take the conversation that I am not making him go through yet because he is sick. I was over Donnas the other day and she was saying that it should be ASAP and then Judy was like yeah it should be said and done with in 6 months.....But Jenn, I am not in a rush....I dont want to wait till 2013 but I do want to wait....Because A, I want to get married in the fall, probally november 7th or as close as we can get depending on when it falls. Since that was the day that we met. SO I cant do it this fall because it is too soon. I dont care what anyone says! I cannot do it next fall because Lauren my cousin is getting married then and it is going to be a huge wedding and I dont want people comparing or having a hard time attending too bug events that cost a lot of money and that are a lot of work for those that are involved. I dont want to be short changed sorry but it is true! And the other reason is that I want to have an engagment party and then I want the bridal shower and Johns stag and my bachelorrte party and all that and I want it all to be spaced out to the point that it works and that I can look forward to each event as it comes....So there for I am not in a rush but john plan for 2013 when gab will be....umm....5 no thanks!
lol..
Okay I did bad with my eating today so I am not going to tell you but it looks like you did good and I saw that you got food and that was important I know so good job!
About Caleb,
I know that the sleeping thing is tough. I can only guess that some of his fussy stuff comes from the travel and then getting back into things. He does this each time you come back I have noticed. I think he likes routine as most babies do. I know that it is hard to get him to do other things right now and that he is really not into the toys and hates the box now and days. I think that I find that gab has alot of toys just thrown around the living room that she cant really do much with. She loves pushing a big ball around the house. I am sure that he would like that but I can see him crawling on it and falling of as she has too and it was not fun!
Try this....Take out some toys that Caleb likes. Or on a good day he likes them. Lay on the floor beside him and begin to play with the toys as you should. Helping Caleb remember what they are and what is fun about them in the first place. Then you give him the toys and let him get involed and once he is busy then you walk away. Go do what ever you need to do and then come back every few mintues to respark the iterest in the play things that are there. So that you become exciting but not more excitning than the toys and he is not following you around becuase you are not near the fun toys and he knows you are going to come back anyway in the long run! It might be a little early for this but we use it alot at work and it helps.
Are you sure that he is feeling well?
And what is it that happens when Jeff is there? Could it be that he is just more used to Jeff becuase like you both have said he has the more tradtional role that he is at home and you are working the crazy all over shifts? And if we are saying that Caleb likes routine then wouldn;t it make sense that he would lack onto the parent that is most predictable? Just some thoughts. That being said it DOES not mean that he loves you less or is less attached. Because I think that Gab LOVES John very much as much as me...But She is not going to go with him when I am around. I feel like it is because I am very predictable and babies just like that.
Keep up the hard work....
BUT OH one more thought HELLO Caleb wants to know where Autumn and Codey are.....DO not think that just cause he is a peanut that he doesnt know there is some thing not quiet right about his world....LOL. Little bugger!
Love ya miss ya and when you can talk to me tommorrow please call me!
I miss you! and you HAVE to come to my wedding I hope that I can make yours too!
C
lol..
Okay I did bad with my eating today so I am not going to tell you but it looks like you did good and I saw that you got food and that was important I know so good job!
About Caleb,
I know that the sleeping thing is tough. I can only guess that some of his fussy stuff comes from the travel and then getting back into things. He does this each time you come back I have noticed. I think he likes routine as most babies do. I know that it is hard to get him to do other things right now and that he is really not into the toys and hates the box now and days. I think that I find that gab has alot of toys just thrown around the living room that she cant really do much with. She loves pushing a big ball around the house. I am sure that he would like that but I can see him crawling on it and falling of as she has too and it was not fun!
Try this....Take out some toys that Caleb likes. Or on a good day he likes them. Lay on the floor beside him and begin to play with the toys as you should. Helping Caleb remember what they are and what is fun about them in the first place. Then you give him the toys and let him get involed and once he is busy then you walk away. Go do what ever you need to do and then come back every few mintues to respark the iterest in the play things that are there. So that you become exciting but not more excitning than the toys and he is not following you around becuase you are not near the fun toys and he knows you are going to come back anyway in the long run! It might be a little early for this but we use it alot at work and it helps.
Are you sure that he is feeling well?
And what is it that happens when Jeff is there? Could it be that he is just more used to Jeff becuase like you both have said he has the more tradtional role that he is at home and you are working the crazy all over shifts? And if we are saying that Caleb likes routine then wouldn;t it make sense that he would lack onto the parent that is most predictable? Just some thoughts. That being said it DOES not mean that he loves you less or is less attached. Because I think that Gab LOVES John very much as much as me...But She is not going to go with him when I am around. I feel like it is because I am very predictable and babies just like that.
Keep up the hard work....
BUT OH one more thought HELLO Caleb wants to know where Autumn and Codey are.....DO not think that just cause he is a peanut that he doesnt know there is some thing not quiet right about his world....LOL. Little bugger!
Love ya miss ya and when you can talk to me tommorrow please call me!
I miss you! and you HAVE to come to my wedding I hope that I can make yours too!
C
Crys,
Okay here is what I ate today:
B-Almost 3/4 cup of frosted cheerios
S-None
L-Light english muffin with oven roasted turkey breast, a piece of pepper jack cheese ONLY spicy mustard
S-Celery with p/b
D-Turkey sausage with yellow and green zucchini with spicy tomatos
S-Strawberries and bananas
Okay, so not too bad.
I'm estatic about being invited to your wedding. I am going to definitely find a way to save the money and get up there. Can you say again when that special day is? I missed it in the last post. Also, it allows me to lose some weight, just more inspiration! One day when I get married, for real, then you will definitely be invited. I am going to be talking to Jeff about what day he wants that on.
Okay, so I need some advice. Caleb is a monster. All he does is walk around and cry/whines, he always wants to be picked up, he is happy some of the time and will play on his own or just walk around and explore. I moved the crib to my side of the bed, the same way you had Gabs, and he saw it, got intrested, then realized it was his crib and immediatly crawled back into our bed. I don't know what I am doing wrong. I am so careful with him, give him so much attention, and try and show him that he can play with his toys and do other things, and it just isn't good enough. When Jeff is around I am pretty much non-existent. What do I do?
All right, for the first time I am at a loss for words, I don't know what else I can say. WOW! Odd for me.
I'll talk to ya later.
Love ya,
Jenn
P.S. I am working 3-11 tomorrow.
Okay here is what I ate today:
B-Almost 3/4 cup of frosted cheerios
S-None
L-Light english muffin with oven roasted turkey breast, a piece of pepper jack cheese ONLY spicy mustard
S-Celery with p/b
D-Turkey sausage with yellow and green zucchini with spicy tomatos
S-Strawberries and bananas
Okay, so not too bad.
I'm estatic about being invited to your wedding. I am going to definitely find a way to save the money and get up there. Can you say again when that special day is? I missed it in the last post. Also, it allows me to lose some weight, just more inspiration! One day when I get married, for real, then you will definitely be invited. I am going to be talking to Jeff about what day he wants that on.
Okay, so I need some advice. Caleb is a monster. All he does is walk around and cry/whines, he always wants to be picked up, he is happy some of the time and will play on his own or just walk around and explore. I moved the crib to my side of the bed, the same way you had Gabs, and he saw it, got intrested, then realized it was his crib and immediatly crawled back into our bed. I don't know what I am doing wrong. I am so careful with him, give him so much attention, and try and show him that he can play with his toys and do other things, and it just isn't good enough. When Jeff is around I am pretty much non-existent. What do I do?
All right, for the first time I am at a loss for words, I don't know what else I can say. WOW! Odd for me.
I'll talk to ya later.
Love ya,
Jenn
P.S. I am working 3-11 tomorrow.
Thursday, June 4, 2009
A1 priority....COMPLETE!
Crys,
Okay, so my first priority tonight was to go shopping, which I did. And I must say that I did very well. I got a lot of veggies and fruits, very little red meat, and only one loaf of bread and a package of light english muffins. So, not too bad.
I hope that all is well in your neck of the woods. I made a payment to my cell phone and am hoping that it will get it turned on, I paid all of the past due and then some. The payment is due to come out of the bank tomorrow so hopefully they will turn it back on. When they do I will send you a text.
Okay, so today I didn't eat too bad UNTIL dinner. I'm not even going to go into it. But starting tomorrow I will post because I have healthy stuff.
Okay, I guess that is all for tonight. I will talk to you later.
Love ya,
Jenn
Okay, so my first priority tonight was to go shopping, which I did. And I must say that I did very well. I got a lot of veggies and fruits, very little red meat, and only one loaf of bread and a package of light english muffins. So, not too bad.
I hope that all is well in your neck of the woods. I made a payment to my cell phone and am hoping that it will get it turned on, I paid all of the past due and then some. The payment is due to come out of the bank tomorrow so hopefully they will turn it back on. When they do I will send you a text.
Okay, so today I didn't eat too bad UNTIL dinner. I'm not even going to go into it. But starting tomorrow I will post because I have healthy stuff.
Okay, I guess that is all for tonight. I will talk to you later.
Love ya,
Jenn
Thank you and I miss you dearly
Thank you for being happy for me. It is what I want and I am feeling really good about it all. I wish we can find a way for you to be IN my wedding. It would make me so happy...But I know it is a hard prospective but I can hope...You certainly have been offically asked...
As far as my eating ah....it has been ok. Not great. I know that it is hard for you to get to the store and that now you guys are feeling strapped by the car payment. Are you almost done with the car payment for Jeff's car? That would help if that was gone....Maybe you can find a way to (I know this sucks) pay a little extra a month on that one so that you can get rid of it and then be in a better spot in the long run???
I miss you so much without you calling me it really sucks. I know that we have the blog but it is once a day at the best for you and I to get on here and it is just not enough. It makes me said. I really wish that you could get the cell again without PAYING! LOL.
I hope that everything esle is going well. 'i miss you and I am tired. I did get your texts but not until this morning because I fell asleep last night!
Love ya!
C
As far as my eating ah....it has been ok. Not great. I know that it is hard for you to get to the store and that now you guys are feeling strapped by the car payment. Are you almost done with the car payment for Jeff's car? That would help if that was gone....Maybe you can find a way to (I know this sucks) pay a little extra a month on that one so that you can get rid of it and then be in a better spot in the long run???
I miss you so much without you calling me it really sucks. I know that we have the blog but it is once a day at the best for you and I to get on here and it is just not enough. It makes me said. I really wish that you could get the cell again without PAYING! LOL.
I hope that everything esle is going well. 'i miss you and I am tired. I did get your texts but not until this morning because I fell asleep last night!
Love ya!
C
CONGRATS!
Crystal,
I don't know if you got my texts last night, but the ring is absolutely beautiful (I hope you don't get mugged!) CONGRATULATIONS! So, when is the big day? I can't wait. Make sure you make it a couple of years out so I have time to lose some major weight so I can find something decent to wear to your wedding. Oh yeah, and I have to save money to get up there!!!! One of my greatest wants is to go dress shopping with you, too bad we live so damn far apart....ARGH!!!!!!
Of course because of the predicament I got Jeff and I into, I haven't been able to go grocery shopping, although that is A1 priority today!!!! So, in turn I have been eating like crap...wait let me say that again....CRAP!!!!! Oh well, I have a chance to go shopping and that is what I am going to do. The more I read about people losing weight, they all have a common denominator....they cut out red meat 90% of the time. I am also thinking that I am going to cut my carb and sugar intake by 50%. I also have not been able to get back to the gym in 3 days, but that will come too, in about a week or so. It may have to wait until I get back from Ruidoso, although the hotel does have a gym, so I will probably hit that up.
I am going through withdrawls not having my phone, just because I can't talk to you. I don't care if I have one for anyone else. I am hoping to work the money to where I can pay that bill too. We shall see. I have to first see how much my check is today.
Alright girlie, I am going to go back to work now. I am so tired I could probably sleep for 15 hours, but that is not going to happen. The next 2 days I am working Evenings (3-11).
I really really miss you. I am sorry that I wasn't estatic happy for you last night, it was kind of a surprise and I had a flood of emotions come over me that we can talk about later on the phone. I am happy for you though. It shows that he really does love you, he just has a hard time showing it to you in the way your used to seeing it. I am happy that you are finally going to get what you want with the man you want and have found happiness after so long.
Talk to you later,
Jenn
I don't know if you got my texts last night, but the ring is absolutely beautiful (I hope you don't get mugged!) CONGRATULATIONS! So, when is the big day? I can't wait. Make sure you make it a couple of years out so I have time to lose some major weight so I can find something decent to wear to your wedding. Oh yeah, and I have to save money to get up there!!!! One of my greatest wants is to go dress shopping with you, too bad we live so damn far apart....ARGH!!!!!!
Of course because of the predicament I got Jeff and I into, I haven't been able to go grocery shopping, although that is A1 priority today!!!! So, in turn I have been eating like crap...wait let me say that again....CRAP!!!!! Oh well, I have a chance to go shopping and that is what I am going to do. The more I read about people losing weight, they all have a common denominator....they cut out red meat 90% of the time. I am also thinking that I am going to cut my carb and sugar intake by 50%. I also have not been able to get back to the gym in 3 days, but that will come too, in about a week or so. It may have to wait until I get back from Ruidoso, although the hotel does have a gym, so I will probably hit that up.
I am going through withdrawls not having my phone, just because I can't talk to you. I don't care if I have one for anyone else. I am hoping to work the money to where I can pay that bill too. We shall see. I have to first see how much my check is today.
Alright girlie, I am going to go back to work now. I am so tired I could probably sleep for 15 hours, but that is not going to happen. The next 2 days I am working Evenings (3-11).
I really really miss you. I am sorry that I wasn't estatic happy for you last night, it was kind of a surprise and I had a flood of emotions come over me that we can talk about later on the phone. I am happy for you though. It shows that he really does love you, he just has a hard time showing it to you in the way your used to seeing it. I am happy that you are finally going to get what you want with the man you want and have found happiness after so long.
Talk to you later,
Jenn
Wednesday, June 3, 2009
weighing in late.....
oh and I weighed 157 yesterday just forgot to post my weight for the tuesday....
K that is it for real!
K that is it for real!
I did forget to put the food here...lol.
B Bagel with cream cheese and coffee
S no
L tried to eat a stuffed pepper some potatos and corn...Only ate a bite of each or so and a small container of coleslaw...
S few crackers and cheese
D the rest of my lunch and some rice pudding
S strawberries and milk
Okay that is it!
Love ya!
C
B Bagel with cream cheese and coffee
S no
L tried to eat a stuffed pepper some potatos and corn...Only ate a bite of each or so and a small container of coleslaw...
S few crackers and cheese
D the rest of my lunch and some rice pudding
S strawberries and milk
Okay that is it!
Love ya!
C
a Picture is worth a thousand words...change in the course...for the better!
Okay I did not mean to have the ring shown in each pic twice but oh well!
I am engaged! I am happy and you know what I have not said that and meant it for a long time. It is time for me to go with my heart and put effort into making things work rather than working against the tide. I thought that I was unloved and I was wrong. I thought John was gone for the day with some one and I was wrong. Maybe it will be a long road and maybe we will have to work harder than most but I am ready.
I am happy. And gitty with the excitment of getting a ring and planning our day...
Monday, June 1, 2009
Ate good...
I ate good but I know that tommorrow I am not going to weigh 156....you'll see.
I dont know girlie.
I gotta go to bed and I know you are not going to be here so i am going to take more time on here tommorrow. John is sleeping out of the house tonight. I asked him to. I am depressed but I have to deal with it. I am retarted and I wish the pain was not here and that I can just get it over with...and figure it out....
C
I dont know girlie.
I gotta go to bed and I know you are not going to be here so i am going to take more time on here tommorrow. John is sleeping out of the house tonight. I asked him to. I am depressed but I have to deal with it. I am retarted and I wish the pain was not here and that I can just get it over with...and figure it out....
C
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