So, today as Jeff, Caleb, and I were eating lunch, I told the baby it was hot and he started to blow on it, very very cute! Later, Jeff told him the oven was hot, and he started to blow. How cute is that?
Today is the 2nd day off of my Paxil and I can for sure tell that I don't have anything in my system. I feel like I have a cold, and I feel like I am in a constant anxiety attack. I just feel funny. But I really, really don't want to be on any type of medication. I just don't know if I can do without it. I feel so depressed right now.
I really am having a hard time with the whole work thing. I love my job, I do, I just don't want to go anymore. I'm tired, all the time, I have no time with my kids. Not to mention my house always looks like a hurricane has gone through it. Jeff just doesn't have the time to keep it up. I have no time for my husband, let alone me.
I am also having a hard time with our money situation, again. And of course it is all because I made the decision to buy the car. Stuff always happens like this when I make decisions. Just like I made the decision to go buy the new outfit and shoes, and lo and behold we needed that money. I am wondering if I can take back the outfit, just say that I washed it and when I tried it on I didn't like it, and at least take back the pair of shoes I didn't wear. That would be like almost 70 bucks back on my credit card. I am convinced that I am not supposed to be making decisions.
On a good note, Caleb is up and running around and being his toddling self, a little whiny but definitely returning to himself again. In the last 5 minutes I have had to take away the Tylenol bottle, pick up the dog food dish, and he spilled some of his lunch right now.
Crys, I really hope you had a good time today with your friend at the beach. I know it makes it easier when you are able to get out of the house for a while. I wish that we had something to do around here that wouldn't make us burn to death. I really hate not having anything to do. Jeff is working hard on getting something cool in here, but it wouldn't be done until next year anyway.
I'm worried about Caleb. He walks around pointing to everything and making the "uh?" sound. I talk to him all the time and tell him what things are but he is just not talking. He knows and understands very well what you are saying, he just isn't verbalizing. Okay, he just tried to replicate "cup". I don't know.
Tomorrow I am working a 12 hour shift so that should be "fun." Get up at 515 get home after 8.
Crys I don't know how you do it. You are always happy and for the last month you have had nothing to complain about. We are so close in our personalities and the things we have been through and yet, I hate life, and you embrace it. What the hell? I just want to be remotely happy. And if not happy I just want to be able to deal with stuff and get past it.
Caleb is demanding much of my attention right now. He is whining and pulling up on me, I pick him up and he still whines. UGH!
Well I guess I better get my fat ass off of here and go tend to Caleb. Hopefully I can calm him down and then clean my house.
Love ya bunches,
Jenn
