Crys,
Thank you for being so worried about me, I appreciate it, but like me you are a natural worrier, and right now, I am telling don't worry yourself about me. I have done extensive research on this and have most of the same symptoms that people have had in the past. The difference between Seratonin Syndrome and Seratonin Withdrawl is that Syndrome is when you up a medication or begin a new one, that one can be fatal. The Withdrawl, is when you obviously stop a medication without first weaning yourself off of it, as in my case. These symptoms usually last between 2-4 weeks and get better everyday. All I can do is hope that this is what will happen with me. If not, then I will weather it till the end.
Let me tell you one thing though, I was/am hooked on Paxil. It is an addictive drug, although everyone may say it is not. I feel like I am missing it, like I absolutely need it. I actually told someone that if this is what it feels like to come off of a prescription med, then I know now why people are drug addicts to not only prescription but also illict as well. I am trying to get through this, and trust me it is hard. My mood swings are all over the place, and trust me I have almost just grabbed the Cymbalta and started taking it because I just don't feel right. I am hoping that it is nothing more than me trying to deal with the withdrawls. I am up and down, up and down. I am back to completely hating myself, life and everything in general. I am telling you, Paxil makes you feel like a whole different person, and I am apt to say that it actuallys takes you to a place of false reality to a point.
Crys, I am right with you when you say that you are having a crappy time with eathing I too am having a crappy time with eating. Between yesterday morning and this morning I have gained 2.5 lbs. You're right I as well have to find the time, the motivation, and the belief that everything I am doing is paying off. I have to be motivated to eat right, go to the gym, and just feel better about me. I am tired of being fat, of being me. I am tired of having to buy jeans that would fit on an elephant, of not being able to buy the cute dresses, shoes, tops, and pants. But, where do I find it? If I don't see results then my whole deal is why try? My contract is almost up at the gym and I was thinking of not renewing. Why should I? But then the right side of my brain kicks in and says "Hello stupid, how are you ever going to get any of those things if you don't keep trying?" I am starting to believe that I am an unique individual. I have left brain right brain battles all the time. No wonder I am such a mess all the time, how can I be ok when my brain sides keep battling each other? I know sounds bizzare, but that is just how I feel.
So far today this is how my eating has gone:
B-Special k cereal and a twix bar
What I have to eat:
S-Apple w/ pb
L-Chicken Salad
S-Pluot
What's for dinner? Unknown
When do I get off? 5pm and I am planning on going to the gym. So when will I eat dinner around 7pm or so.
At the gym I am not going to push it like I used to. As much as I like seeing me do 1 mile in 15 minutes, I don't want to die of a heart attack. I will probably just walk for 45 minutes at a good speed. Somewhere around 3.3mph-3.5mph with the incline at 3%. You know it just occured to me what if I already have heart disease or damage because of my weight and eating habits? Oh that will be wonderful won't it.
Okay I better get to work. I love ya bunches and thank you.
Jenn
