It's been a while....

Okay, so I figured it's been a while since either of us have been on here, so I figured I would come back and just kinda update you on things.

First, the kids are all doing well. They are having a blast, c'mon they get to swim every single day almost, and they don't have to go to school. Caleb is doing well. He is such a funny character. He is so demanding though. But, on the other hand he is very loveable. Out of the blue he will tell you that he loves you and gives you a hug. You have to see him, he cries if iCarly, Big Time Rush, or Spongebob are not on when HE wants them to be on. Okay correction, he down right throws a fit. He is really good at counting and his colors. Yvette (babysitter) was saying that she bought a pre-school reading program for her daughter, but Caleb is the one that is responding the most to it. I don't know which one it is or what it entails, but I am all for it!

I am doing ok. I screwed up my diet, but oh well. Tomorrow is another stone, another day. I will be ok. School is killing me, I only have 2 weeks left in one class and I will be done and the other one ends sometime in August, just before Fall semester. My job is going well other than the quirks that all jobs have, but I do my best to work through them and just remember that I am there to help someone who needs it and not make everyone else happy.


My instructor for this training I have been in is hilarious. He is wound really tight, he talks a million miles a minute (like I do). He said something yesterday about a "bubbler." Well minus the "r". But I had to sit and think a minute he was talking about the water fountain! He has a million sounds and voices he can do, and at times he acts just like someone out of a mafia movie. But I loved it. I loved all the terminology that was used, the jokes he made, he just made the class fun. In so many ways did he remind me of the happiness I felt when I was up there with you in your environment. I remember how much it felt like home. And although I may not be able to make it up there as fast as I had hoped, it reminded me of my ultimate goal. I just hope it happens before I am too old to actually enjoy it.

You know lately I have been realizing how short life really is. I mean we spend our days and nights thinking, worrying, and running and we forget to stop and smell the roses. To stop and take time to do, try, or experience the things we truly enjoy. And for someone like me who doesn't even know to what nth degree that is, life seems even shorter. I feel at times like it is water, slipping between my fingers and there is nothing that I can do to stop it.

I just took a xanax so in a few minutes I am going to be hitting the hay. I have figured out that the only way I can get up at 5 in the morning is if I go to bed right around 9 and sleep ALL night. If I don't then I have a way less chance of getting up and actually walking.

Speaking of which I hope that your exercise and diet regimen are going well. I know that you work so hard and I really want you to see results. I mean if the weight is not coming off, that is not necessarily a bad thing, it just means that you are putting on muscle, which weighs more than fat. So, you could be losing the bad stuff (fat) and putting on the good stuff (muscle).

Okay girlie, I just got writers block, but I promise I will get on here more since I am not working as much as I was. I literally only work about 14 days a month.

I love you and miss you very much.

Jenn

I am so happy....

Hey you,

It was so nice talking to you today, and I appreciate the hour you took to talk to me. It lifted my spirits by millions. Thank you so much.

I know you will make the right decision. You are a smart person and you know how to be diplomatic, so your dilemma will be taken care of.

Me hearing you at the gym on the phone gave me a new motiviation. I should already have motivation because where I work their gym facility is free for me to use. AND I may have found someone to go with me. So that will help also.

I feel bad because I didn't give you any time to talk about the good stuff that is going on in your life like with Bird, Gab, and John. I feel so bad. I want to make time to talk to you again so I can get updated on everything. Sorry for being such a bad friend. I just felt like a little kid getting to talk to my idol/bff/a person that means the world to me and I couldn't contain myself.

Well anyways, Jeff is at the store with 2 of the three kids and I REALLY need to be working on homework, but I wanted to leave you with a couple of cute pics:

Remember when.....

Hey you, just feeling down, nostalgic and alone. I broke out the pics from when I visited. I really do miss you very much. Hopefully we get to talk soon. Love you bunches.

SO I was talking to my co worker at length the other day and I am really struggling at work right now. I am with a family that I love dearly but they have so many hardships right now and I see it carrying over to my own life. I cannot go on and on because I would not want anyone I know to see this and figure out what I am talking about but I will need to talk to you more for you to get it. One of the things that is happening is that I am not finding time for my friends. YOU. I am just so involed in what I am in right now that It takes all the energy I have. I am in bed every night at about 9 and barely touch the computer. I am late on all my paperwork at work etc. So other things are slacking and I think that is why I focus some much on my weight right now because again it is something that I can control one hundred percent. You know? We need to talk about this better for you to understand but when I was talking to my co worker I realized how bad it is getting and that I need to do something before it gets worse. I just dont know what to do or how to change it. ANyway gab is pressing buttons.