Okay, so I have to get some stuff off of my mind.
First, I have eaten like crap for the last 3 days, and of course the numbers on the scale show it. I just can't find the motivation right now to say no to crappy stuff. Like today I had 2 low fat multi-grain waffles for breakfast. Then I had a 'lunch' of a banana and a string cheese. Well for dinner I had to go off and BLOW IT! I had a spicy italian sandwich with italian wedding soup. I really tried to stop eating and I couldn't. I have eaten more burgers in the past week than I have in 6 months. I am so aggrevated with myself.
Then, because of my OCD's, I was doing more research on my hotel room and I found a review from a person who said that he felt really unsafe with that hotel because the police were always there, that what seemed like homeless people and drug addicts stayed in that hotel, and that drug deals would go down in the parking lot. I am soooo scared right now. I am a female by herself going in and out of that hotel room. Ohhh boy...what did I get myself into? Well my mom always told me you get what you pay for and I wanted to save $300 so, it is my fault.
I am so tired right now. My eyes are burning. I really need some time where I just sleep, as long as I want to. My body needs to recover from some of this stress. If not it is going to shut down. Usually when I get like this I tend to get really sick around February, to the point of hospitalization at times. So, none-the-less I have to try and recoop.
Right now I am trying to figure out when I am going to get everything done. I have to pack for Wednesday and Thursday for my trip to El Paso with Caleb. On top of it I have to still pack to come see you. I return from El Paso sometime on Thursday, which is probably when I am going to focus on packing. I will probably also try and pack some tomorrow morning. Then I have training all day on Friday, I will spend some time with the kids at dinner or something and then I will drive to El Paso so I can fly out on Saturday. **BIG SIGH** Wow, talk about crazy times. But it will all be worth it in the end. I do know that I am NOT going to leave directly after training because I want the kids to be able to see me before I leave and I WILL NOT leave while the baby is asleep because I want him to be able to say "dyedye" to me. (that is how he says bye bye while waving). He does know how to make the "b" sound, but can't use it correctly yet.
School is already all consuming. When I am there I will show the cumbersome syllubi that I have. I already had a late assignment. It is only my 5th day of school what am I going to do throughout the semester? I can already tell that this evening shift is getting to me. I am just not a person that can get by on 5 hours of sleep and begin my day again between 6-7am and run unitl 1 the next morning. Oh, wait....I've already said that in previous posts! BLAH BLAH BLAH!
Okay couple of jokes:
1.) A mother walks in on her daughter having sex with 2 hispanics. Mother says "What are you doing!" Daughter says: "My English teacher said I had to have 2 'esses' done by Monday."
2.) What is the definition of anxious? A man with a wife, a mortgage, and a girlfriend, all of which are a month late!
**Takes a bow** Thank you very much!
I can just see the smile and hear the giggle coming out of your mouth right now!
So, back to a heavier subject. Codey's teacher has already called me and said that Codey is not able to focus on anything at all. She says that she gives him 2 minutes to complete math problems and he can't do one, NOT ONE! She says that he is always off in his own world and that she has a hard time bringing him back to the 'real world'. I don't know how much more I can take of this. I really hate the fact that he has no ambition or drive to do any of this on his own. He uses th Vyvanse as a crutch. Jeff and I talk to him all the time about how he can do it, he just has to work hard, and it proves to do nothing for him.
I haven't had a chance to tell you, but my sister closed down her daycare after maybe 3 weeks, and tried to find a job in Roundrock. Well she couldn't so she talked it over with her husband and decided to move back to El Paso. Guess who she is going to stay with! MY MOTHER! It angers me and hurts me that whenever my sister says she needs somewhere to stay my mother always lets her stay, but whenever I need something I am told that my mother wouldn't be able to handle all the chaos. WHAT?! Okay, that makes a lot of sense.
Ugh, I just had a thought running through my mind and it plum ran past me.
I'm telling you for Christmas I want Gingko Biloba in the bulk!
Well I guess since my old age has hindered me from completing this post the way I had intended I guess that is it! I hope that you are doing ok, and that right now you are either in the tub soaking or sleeping.
Talk to you tomorrow!
Love ya,
Jenn
