As a little girl I wrote a letter to Santa that was posted in the New Haven Register amidst all the other children that wrote in. The letters spoke of goodies and toys that children dreamed of at night, all but my own. In my letter I asked Santa to help my mom with money and give my toys to the children that were poor and had none. My mother saved that newspaper and was so proud of the clear differences between mine and all the others. Even as a young child I saw the world and its inequalities. I looked to make changes for those who I could help and give to those who did not have. One person that needed my help greatly was my mother herself. My mother had epilepsy and bipolar disorder. The symptoms of my mother’s illnesses were under control however several times a year she would have “spells”. I learned to care for my younger siblings and to ask for help from those adults in my life that I trusted. I would never forget how important those adults were to me. The counselors and social workers that I knew at school could listen to the challenges I faced at home and supported me when I cried. Patsy, Susan, and Ann my counselors that helped me saw that I wanted to make something of myself. I started taking classes in high school that furthered my knowledge of the helping professions. I took psychology, multiculturalism, sociology, and child development and through these courses I realized I belonged in the helping field.
The years after high school were very busy for me. I had a child at a young age and struggled to keep our family out of poverty. I still maintained the ownership over my mother’s well being. Counting her pills and attending Doctors visits were part of my everyday life. I was asked several times if what I was studying in school was medicine due to the fact that my knowledge of my mother’s plan of care was so precise. I see these tasks in my young life as preparing me for case management. I learned the details of my mother’s care and maintained it quite well but the medications took their toll on my mother’s health and shortly after I graduated from Southern Connecticut State University my mother passed away in her sleep. I do not remember much after her death but that it hurt more than I could have ever imagined a person could hurt. I did not think that I could ever move on in my life for I’d lost someone that was part of the fiber of my being. At my mother’s funeral I sat in front getting hugs and kisses from people saying they were “sorry for my loss” and “knew that God had a plan”. In their words I felt no ease from the pain. My eyes were dry with the loss of tears from the days that just past and my knees were weak. Then I saw them. Patsy, Ann, and Susan were there. It had been years since I last saw them and here they were for me again. I sat with them and felt their love as they held my hand in silence. I turned to my grandmother and told her “These are the women that made me who I am, who helped me finish school and get to grow into the woman I am”. I remember as Patsy hugged me she said to me “the only one you have to thank is yourself for you did it all yourself.” I can remember the importance of them being there for me that day. The fact that these women were there affirmed for me that you can have people in your life that are there to support you when you are facing challenges that do not want anything back in return.
It took a few years for me to see it but the truth is that I am aware that this is a place I have come to in my life because of my hard work and determination. I have recovered from the loss of my mother and focused on myself and my family. I was not afraid to seek help in my healing and grief. One steady place for me to be supported has been my occupation. I work with a team of professionals that have guided me and taught me so much. As my abilities have strengthened my career has blossomed and I am helping families in need. In my position at Kidsteps Birth to three, I focus on education within families with a child showing a delay in any developmental area. My role in an Early Intervention Associate is not limited to just the education of the child but rather the wellbeing of the family. I help families gain access to the system and what can help them maintain their basic needs. I have filled out welfare forms with clients whom cannot read them on their own or reach out and ask for help when they were in abusive situations. Working with social workers within the home has helped me to learn what it is like to use what I have studied in classrooms out in the field. I hope to become a resource someday to others as they look to assist their clients. I want nothing more than to further my education so that I can make a dent in the world and help someone else. I know that I cannot fix it all but if I can project the gentle caring that my counselors did for me onto others in need then that will be enough. In my pursuit of my Masters in Social work I hope to learn strong strategies of intervention, the manner in which the social service system works and how to help clients obtain services to meet their needs. I would like to study cultural differences, behavioral patterns, and the hardships that different races and classes of people deal with. Learning about the differences in cultures can help me to intervene with these families who are in crisis while respecting their cultural beliefs. I want my children to look at me and see the importance of education and pursuing your dreams. My dream is to be in my own office with a client in tears who needs direction and helping that client find their way out and into the life they can have as those in my life have done for me. The rewards that I get from helping those in need are intrinsic and have no monetary number. I recently transitioned a family into the public school system and as I left her house for the last time she looked at me with tears in her eyes and said to me that I need to push forward and go on with my education. She said that she “looks at me with her child and sees the interaction not as work but as an Art”. I am looking to fine tune my artistic ability.
