I always feel like SOMEBODY WATCHING ME>>>!

SO this is what I look like right now at 159 pounds at home and whatever 160.6 that weight watchers thinks that I am. I think that I should just go there and put photos because maybe that might scare me into having to make a change because you can see if I did not. What do you think? I am sure that you think that I am nuts but there is something to be said that someone somewhere might be looking at our blog and there for they might say wow she really is losing weight or wow this heffer is not getting it right. lol. I think that will shake me up a bit. So that was me last night. Trying to take a nice picture of myself and then I realized that in all and I mean all of my cell phone pics I look really bad. Is that just me? GOd I hope not.

ANyway today I did really good with my eating so far of course last night I fell off the deep end and ate like shit. I made this really good pasta with Cheese and veggies and I had no business making it but you know what I did and it was heavenly so at night when I was all alone in my room I got hungry and what do you think I went down to get you got it macaroni.....so bad so bad.....

Today was good though and I know I am not going to have lost any weight this week at weight watchers between the stupid thing I did last night and the friggin night bird and I went to the movies yeah really bad.

Guess what on Feb 16th I am taking bird to see breaking benjamins and three days grace at the casino. I think it will be so much fun! I hope I lose 5 more pounds by then lol. It is so hard to think of any of these pounds as loses too because I was 153 when you came down and I cant start really losing again before I am below that. Or that is what it feels like anyway.

I sent out my grad school application! I am on a mission mission mission with the portfolio! I am going to say that the thing will be done before my birthday. WE will see if I can do that and when I say before I mean signed sealed and delivered and out of this house off of this chair for good. I feel like the whole thing for school is really in gods hands whatever he wants for me will be with that and I guess I have to have that attitude with this too! I have no idea what I will do with myself when both of these huge tasks are done with in my life. Hey did you ever go away? Are you still at home. I am the worse friend in the world.

WEll my condo is coming out so good. I am going to go there tonight and take pics because this is nuts you need to see them. I will take pictures of everything tonight for sure and post it here.

I love you always and will always be here for you even though it sure as hell seems like I fell off the planet. You will never be replaced....

Muah