Oh bah humbug
I think the theme of my posts have changed and I have noticed that I am never happy anymore and that is very sad. You know. Arg. It is the damn car issue. I know that it is nuts but it is really getting me down the only thing that I had that got me the hell out of this place something that was mine and all mine is gone. And now I rely rely rely I dont think that is spelled right at all on someone esle and I hate it. Jenn if I could just win the lottery not a ton just enough it would be so great and the first thing I would do is pay for first class tickets for you and the fam to come visit me and for us to al have a great time going to disney or something like that that normal families do together. ARG again.
What right do I have to complain. I ask myself when there are people out there that do have nothing or that have a baby dying in the NICU. I dont have the right but god this challenging life that I have is killing me on the inside regardless of how much worse it could be. I just sit here thinking it must be able to get better. Some how it must and it never fails to get worse. What the hell?
I currently and struggling with the diet too. I am not tracking as well as I should but I am going to be today so no stress about that but also I am eating worse and working out a bit more and it is getting me no where fast. I think that it must be all the stress on my plate. I sware I went from young at heart and body to an old hag over night. I am not kidding I am feeling old and while I dont think that I look it yet really if I let this go on over and over it will catch up with me. ARg again. LaDee da
I want to be able to breath.
To rest.
To feel safe in my skin and home.
I want to tell someone what I think and care about and like and have them give a shit about it all.
I want my life back. Where did it go? WHere did it go? I am no longer be but A person in a body without any real direction. I have lost 30 pounds and feel so much heavier because of the stress on my soul. I go to god each and every weekend and pray on other days and I have yet to hear a answer.
Please god I need your help....That is what I have shortened it to. I am not even asking for anything in particular just help.
Help me find me and then
Get to Jenn.
Or then there is my real hope...
MOVE TO CT....
B watermelon
L egg whites and veggies a piece of toast and some home fries
C
