Okay I just read through your blog and I am going to try to get to it all but I am going to have to read threw it again at the end and see if I got all the points that you brought up.
Thank you for your kind words on the whole diet thing with me I really want to get it together again. I know that I slacked on SP big time but I will take a look at the web md thing that you are having luck with. I dont know why I slacked so big with SP. I guess when I fell off of the goal line and now weigh more than I should to have reached the goal by august that I have gotten down about it now. I ate good enough so we will see. I just dont want to gain anymore weight back arg.
With the april rose blog I am really sorry that you got into it too. I know that it is a struggle to balance the need to see and the need to protect yourself. I dont know why god gives people the troubles that he does and my goodness with her his will wed.s their are so many people that have it so much worse than I do but I cant help it. I really cant when it is you it feels like the world is falling down on you regardless of what other people are going through. But then when you stop and read those things it is like WOW....Who am I to complain?
So Just expect the expectable for this mom, b, and if she gets anything better than that call it a miracle. And you know what the fact that she has the baby still is a miracle already and we need to remember that. I am struggling for her too believe me.
Now, I think that it would be a great idea for you to go to counseling and while I understand that you feel like you might have bipolar I would need to hear more about what is making you think that. I have lived with someone, my mother, who did infact have bipolar and you know it runs in families and You KNOW that I afraid of one day waking up and being that woman. And I am also always wondering if the things that I go through are some form. But Jenn, Listen, If you go into counseling it does not have to be to get a label. You can share with the counselor that you are uncomfortable with that from the start. We can all walk around with a label...doesnt always make a difference. When a person decides to go into counseling we need to remember that there is alot of work that has to take place and almost ALWAYS you will feel worse rather than better when you start doing that work. You have to get through the bad to get to the good. I think that it is worth it. I DO NOT want to hear you telling me that you are going to let a counselor put you on more medication however. ....I just think that you need to look into a holistic and thearputic cure right now rather than a medicatable fix....I think that it would be a great idea for you....I actually have been thinking about it for myself too. I dont think it would hurt for your husband to join you. I know it is hard for men to get into this all. But, If your reading this Jeff, getting your thoughts and feeling out in a safe enviroment and working through what is let of the issues in your lifes together, if any that is, will be great for both of you. And since this is something that your wife is planning on doing for herself anyway I think it can only make you two all that much stronger.
Jenn, Be sure you look for a good therapist that you are comfortable with.
Flubber bubber? NO......But I get it.....
I think I thought that today too. Not in those words but in the SAME thought process! You are not that big, jenn....YOU ARE NOT! AND you are beautiful and with the hard work that you have given and the time that you have taken I only wish that you would have more numbers showing all of that. But I must say that I stand firm saying that you are doing a great job just maintaining your weight on the pills. THat is where I stand....
I know you miss your grammie....I miss her for you. I hope my mom is sitting with her....and watching over us together from the same place in heaven...with Kayleigh plaing nearby....sitting up and breathing....
I am glad to hear that there are moments in your day when you feel loved. You are loved jenn, by many. Your a great mom. Letting the kids go with the sitter this morning is nothing. She was not going to go home and come back so dont worry about it. ARe they out of school now?
I think your glasses are cute! They make you look educated! And they are cute! I know that getting your hair done is important to you. And if you can get the sitter to do it that would be good inless you can put 40 dollars anyway each check for two checks and then put it all together and get the hair done at a real place. I think that it might make you feel pretty. I enjoyed it so much. So I think that if you can find the funds you should tell your sitter thanks but you just want to have a girl's day at the salon. Just you....
Are you still doing your nails? I bit mine off! A LOOOONG time ago.
It bothers me that we have not talked either. Miss you alot. I feel bad that I missed your call. I have so much crap going on. So much. Today I had to work then get bird take donnas daughter to the store then gab to her class home for dinner and then to the pool. I am telling you I was in the car most the damn day! ARG
Whatever.
I hope thatI helped you a little here but I dont know if I did....I am not sure at all....I have to look at the blog too.
Is it going to help you to write down the things that you thought throughout the day? I think that it might be good because we can look back on the things that we say about our selves and look for progress and or patterns as it goes by. I do think that will be a good idea.
This morning I was looking at myslef in the mirror too and said ahhh I am so flabby. But you know what as soon as I put my clothes on most days that is I feel better and then I say I can deal. I think you should start there like me! I think you beautiful and so does your husband. Now you just have to see it too....
Oh Jenn......Let me read the blog again......
But for now this was my dinner
S one half a fiber bar
D subway footlong chicken no cheese no mayo
S cinniman bread with a little peanut butter and tea
So as you can see it was not great but TRUST ME it is a hell of a lot better.....
I love ya as my bestest friend forever! We do got to get on the damn phone more. After all I did put my minutes way up for us!
C
