Hey girl.
I was just looking through this and thinking about the almost 500 posts. I hope you know that without this and without the connection to you in the darkest times and moments I would not have made it. Thank you for reading all of these and for writing all of these. I love you!
Tuesday, October 7, 2014
Sunday, July 24, 2011
Thanks
Hey you,
Thanks for all the words of encouragement. You're right on so many levels that life does get in the way and to be honest it sucks. It sucks because you are part of my life and yet my life here gets in the way of me connecting with you.
I know how hard it is to take care of your gram, and trust me I would not fault you one iota if you complained for just a second about the difficulty. You are doing a fantastic job with her and no one, not one single solitary soul can fault you for what you are doing. Furthermore, when you finally do have to lay your gram to rest, you will know in the deepest parts of your soul that you did everything you could to make sure her life was the best it could be. I am absolutely positive that she enjoys seeing you and Gab and is appreciative of what you are doing.
Here is something someone sent me in my e-mail and I thought I would share it. I sent it to your aol email address, but I know sometimes you don't get what I send you so I thought I would post it on here:
This is something we should all read at least once a week!!!!! Make sure you read to the end!!!!!!
Written by Regina Brett, 90 years old, of the Plain Dealer, Cleveland, Ohio .
"To celebrate growing older, I once wrote the 45 lessons life taught me. It is the most requested column I've ever written.
My odometer rolled over to 90 in August, so here is the column once more:
1. Life isn't fair, but it's still good.
2. When in doubt, just take the next small step.
3. Life is too short to waste time hating anyone.
4. Your job won't take care of you when you are sick. Your friends and parents will. Stay in touch.
5. Pay off your credit cards every month.
6. You don't have to win every argument. Agree to disagree.
7. Cry with someone. It's more healing than crying alone.
8. It's OK to get angry with God. He can take it.
9. Save for retirement starting with your first paycheck.
10. When it comes to chocolate, resistance is futile.
11. Make peace with your past so it won't screw up the present.
12. It's OK to let your children see you cry.
13. Don't compare your life to others. You have no idea what their journey is all about.
14. If a relationship has to be a secret, you shouldn't be in it.
15. Everything can change in the blink of an eye. But don't worry; God never blinks.
16. Take a deep breath. It calms the mind.
17. Get rid of anything that isn't useful, beautiful or joyful.
18. Whatever doesn't kill you really does make you stronger.
19. It's never too late to have a happy childhood. But the second one is up to you and no one else.
20. When it comes to going after what you love in life, don't take no for an answer.
21. Burn the candles, use the nice sheets, wear the fancy lingerie. Don't save it for a special occasion. Today is special.
22. Over prepare, then go with the flow.
23. Be eccentric now. Don't wait for old age to wear purple.
24. The most important sex organ is the brain.
25. No one is in charge of your happiness but you.
26. Frame every so-called disaster with these words 'In five years, will this matter?'
27. Always choose life.
28. Forgive everyone everything.
29. What other people think of you is none of your business.
30. Time heals almost everything. Give time time.
31. However good or bad a situation is, it will change.
32. Don't take yourself so seriously. No one else does.
33. Believe in miracles.
34.. God loves you because of who God is, not because of anything you did or didn't do.
35. Don't audit life. Show up and make the most of it now.
36. Growing old beats the alternative -- dying young.
37. Your children get only one childhood.
38. All that truly matters in the end is that you loved.
39. Get outside every day. Miracles are waiting everywhere.
40. If we all threw our problems in a pile and saw everyone else's, we'd grab ours back.
41. Envy is a waste of time. You already have all you need.
42. The best is yet to come...
43. No matter how you feel, get up, dress up and show up.
44.. Yield.
45. Life isn't tied with a bow, but it's still a gift."
Written by Regina Brett, 90 years old, of the Plain Dealer, Cleveland, Ohio .
"To celebrate growing older, I once wrote the 45 lessons life taught me. It is the most requested column I've ever written.
My odometer rolled over to 90 in August, so here is the column once more:
1. Life isn't fair, but it's still good.
2. When in doubt, just take the next small step.
3. Life is too short to waste time hating anyone.
4. Your job won't take care of you when you are sick. Your friends and parents will. Stay in touch.
5. Pay off your credit cards every month.
6. You don't have to win every argument. Agree to disagree.
7. Cry with someone. It's more healing than crying alone.
8. It's OK to get angry with God. He can take it.
9. Save for retirement starting with your first paycheck.
10. When it comes to chocolate, resistance is futile.
11. Make peace with your past so it won't screw up the present.
12. It's OK to let your children see you cry.
13. Don't compare your life to others. You have no idea what their journey is all about.
14. If a relationship has to be a secret, you shouldn't be in it.
15. Everything can change in the blink of an eye. But don't worry; God never blinks.
16. Take a deep breath. It calms the mind.
17. Get rid of anything that isn't useful, beautiful or joyful.
18. Whatever doesn't kill you really does make you stronger.
19. It's never too late to have a happy childhood. But the second one is up to you and no one else.
20. When it comes to going after what you love in life, don't take no for an answer.
21. Burn the candles, use the nice sheets, wear the fancy lingerie. Don't save it for a special occasion. Today is special.
22. Over prepare, then go with the flow.
23. Be eccentric now. Don't wait for old age to wear purple.
24. The most important sex organ is the brain.
25. No one is in charge of your happiness but you.
26. Frame every so-called disaster with these words 'In five years, will this matter?'
27. Always choose life.
28. Forgive everyone everything.
29. What other people think of you is none of your business.
30. Time heals almost everything. Give time time.
31. However good or bad a situation is, it will change.
32. Don't take yourself so seriously. No one else does.
33. Believe in miracles.
34.. God loves you because of who God is, not because of anything you did or didn't do.
35. Don't audit life. Show up and make the most of it now.
36. Growing old beats the alternative -- dying young.
37. Your children get only one childhood.
38. All that truly matters in the end is that you loved.
39. Get outside every day. Miracles are waiting everywhere.
40. If we all threw our problems in a pile and saw everyone else's, we'd grab ours back.
41. Envy is a waste of time. You already have all you need.
42. The best is yet to come...
43. No matter how you feel, get up, dress up and show up.
44.. Yield.
45. Life isn't tied with a bow, but it's still a gift."
I think that we have a lot we can take away from those words. How simple yet true they are.
I am SUPER EXCITED about True Blood tonight. I know that you are going to a concert with Bird so I don't know if you will even be home to watch it, but it will give us something more to talk about! Just another commonality.
I think what you said about our friendship have the great basis it does that allows us to go for a while without talking is so true. I think we have a great foundation and no one will ever be able to take that from us. I am going to be selfish though and say that I really get...I don't know if the word jealous is right....but I hate not being able to see you or be able to go places with you. Yes, your friends in CT see you seldom but they still have you right there. I am 2000 miles away and take out photos of my trip up there to see you. I keep talking to Jeff about moving and he isn't adverse to it, but we do have to start saving some money so we can eventually make the move up there. It is very expensive to move and although we may have help to move, it always takes more, trust me. But, at least we are on the same page now and have a common goal to work toward. My goal is to be up there in about 5 years. Gosh, the kids will already be 8!
Well, I've caught a summer cold. Actually the baby somehow caught it and was gracious enough to pass it along to Jeff and I. I feel horrible. Stuffed up nose and sinuses....oh well, medicine helps it a little bit.
Jadon is doing well, trying to grow up in a hectic household is proving difficult for him. Jeff and I just keep telling him what the right decisions would be. He is super smart, just like his daddy. He's reading at a 5th grade level already and only going into the 2nd grade! I'm so super proud of him.
It makes me sad to her about Maria's little boy, but hey God prepared her for what she was going to be dealt. That's great. I love the fact that she kind of has oxymoronic degrees! How cool. In reference to me and wanting to do the degree, don't get me wrong I love learning about it and am ALWAYS thinking how I can apply what I learn to everyday life. I even can pick up on some things like out of books, movies, or crime shows. You know me though, I am always second guessing what should be the obvious. I love criminal justice but I also love medicine. It's just so hard to be sure that I am doing the right thing. A friend of mine posted on facebook the other day a quote that said something to the effect of: It is never to late to learn what you want and do what you want to do. I questioned her and said: What if I don't know what I want to do? In which she responded in her very lawyer like way: You re-read the statement. So, I think I just need to go with what I am doing. If it was meant to be another way then it would have happened another way. But it is happening this way for a reason.
I know that one day we will get a break but something tells me we will have to make it happen, it just isn't going to fall into place for us. So, until then, I will look forward to the next 22 months until you come see me! God only knows where we will be in 22 months, but in any regard just to see you will be fantastical! Then, I will continue to work hard and put into place a plan to move up there in about 5 years, so your visit will break the 5 years in half!
Okay girlie, Caleb is laying down, so I am probably going to go try and lay down and rest. I have to start work tomorrow and am not feeling too well. By the way, if you get a chance and haven't done so already, go by Wendy's and get a Mixed Berry Lemonade if they offer it, they are so yummy, cool, and refreshing!
Love you long time.
Jenn
You gotta WANT it.
Hey Girl.
I am so excited to see that you are doing well in school and that we are talking here for at least a bit. Life is crazy and it gets in the way. It is sad but it does not make me care about you less or hurt my feelings I know that we are both very busy being moms. That will not always be the case. I am thankful that we had more time in the beginning to build the solid foundation of our friendship so it can stand the test of time. Just to let you know I have people that I know here in Ct that I only talk to once in a few months and see even less. maybe at a birthday party or whatever. So the busy ness is not because you are across the world it is with allllll the people in my life. Of course besides the kids and my gram and maybe that is part of the reason why others get so little of time seeing as those few people take it all.
I love my kids and my gram dont get me wrong. But it is really tough. Every weekend I go on sat or sunday depending on what I have to do for the weekend and get my gramma from the nursing home. This entails me going there and putting a wheel chair in my trunk.... helping my gramma into the car which involves some serious skill, bringing her to her house or out to eat first.... getting her out of the car and into the wheelchair...bringing her into where ever we are say it is a restaurant then doing everything for her and the kids in the place till my hands are shaking because I am hungry and the food in being eaten by everyone but me then get her back into the car to her house back out of the car into her apt building that has two non auto matic doors that I have to get through and going inside cleaning up and keeping up with her and the baby the cat and taking my gram to the bathroom which is lets say alot of work and then finally taking her back to the car and the place. Now, it sounds as if I am complaining and I guess to some degree I am. Not because of my gramma at all I love her and love seeing her. I guess think that life is hard for me and I work hard. oh, yeah all this with Gabbie and that is hard because we are parking lots etc and I am alone with a three year old and disabled person but the blessing is the days when bird is there. I cannot expect him to give away his weekend so I dont make him come everytime but sometimes he chooses to. He loves his gramma and he knows that it is important to take care of the people that you love. Well. I guess I just wonder if I work so hard and do so much when will it "what goes around comes around for me?"
Blah!
And never say that I dont like to read your posts! Whatever they say heavy or light I love them because they came from you and are you.
Sorry about the money troubles girlie. I know that you have been fighting so hard to get ahead and you guys work hard to and need to see some rewards as well as I do! I know that the car issues are such a headache but like you said the good news is that you do not work a millon miles away anymore. I am glad that you got a new job! Congrats see your work s paying off! That pay rate is great down here so it must be really good out there! I am glad for you and hopeful that it will make some of these money troubles a thing of the past for you and your family. I pray you guys pull of the school clothes thing! You always do. I am sure you will.
Codey, geez, he is giving you a run for your money huh? Great with the punching a girl. It will get better he has a great mommy...he is just becoming a teenager AHHH
Autumn, boyfriend? boundaries? OMG I am not sure I am ready to hear this stuff. GOd bless you. I have anxiety reading it!!!
Caleb, so cute and you playing with him with Action figures for 45 minutes is way longer the I would last Good mommy not bad mommy! Gabbie is trying to get me to help her wash the dishes now so I am going to go in a moment.
What's going on with Jaden?
Girl... I have met some wonder BCBAS with lots of brains, funny you bring up the bar because the one I love is also a JD lol.... Wierd combo kinda... Laws and laws of behavior? Hmm the irony in Maria's life the BCBA is that she did everything right studied hard got married house job great life waitied until 35 to have a baby to be ready worked like the devil with kiddos with autism... Has a baby....And he is autistic. Now, she really needed her education to the max. I guess this is why god lead her in that direction right? So she could teachher son and stand up for his rights?
Anyway I also met some BIRD BRAINS that are, ummm not up to your standard at all and they PASSED THE EXAM!!!! Stop talking yourself down!!! You can do if you want it and so what ifworse comes to worse you have to try a few times. YOU are scoring 90s in your exams and classes etc. Don't tell me that you dont think you CAN do it. If you are not sure if you WANT to that is one thing but you CAN do it if you WANT it.
Love you.
Keep up all the good work with the kids, work, and your therapist. Someday I think we will get a break. Or let's pretend.
Today is going to have to start for me now as I am still in my pjs and have a millon things to do before I take off to a concert tonight with my bird and my sister. Take care love....
I am so excited to see that you are doing well in school and that we are talking here for at least a bit. Life is crazy and it gets in the way. It is sad but it does not make me care about you less or hurt my feelings I know that we are both very busy being moms. That will not always be the case. I am thankful that we had more time in the beginning to build the solid foundation of our friendship so it can stand the test of time. Just to let you know I have people that I know here in Ct that I only talk to once in a few months and see even less. maybe at a birthday party or whatever. So the busy ness is not because you are across the world it is with allllll the people in my life. Of course besides the kids and my gram and maybe that is part of the reason why others get so little of time seeing as those few people take it all.
I love my kids and my gram dont get me wrong. But it is really tough. Every weekend I go on sat or sunday depending on what I have to do for the weekend and get my gramma from the nursing home. This entails me going there and putting a wheel chair in my trunk.... helping my gramma into the car which involves some serious skill, bringing her to her house or out to eat first.... getting her out of the car and into the wheelchair...bringing her into where ever we are say it is a restaurant then doing everything for her and the kids in the place till my hands are shaking because I am hungry and the food in being eaten by everyone but me then get her back into the car to her house back out of the car into her apt building that has two non auto matic doors that I have to get through and going inside cleaning up and keeping up with her and the baby the cat and taking my gram to the bathroom which is lets say alot of work and then finally taking her back to the car and the place. Now, it sounds as if I am complaining and I guess to some degree I am. Not because of my gramma at all I love her and love seeing her. I guess think that life is hard for me and I work hard. oh, yeah all this with Gabbie and that is hard because we are parking lots etc and I am alone with a three year old and disabled person but the blessing is the days when bird is there. I cannot expect him to give away his weekend so I dont make him come everytime but sometimes he chooses to. He loves his gramma and he knows that it is important to take care of the people that you love. Well. I guess I just wonder if I work so hard and do so much when will it "what goes around comes around for me?"
Blah!
And never say that I dont like to read your posts! Whatever they say heavy or light I love them because they came from you and are you.
Sorry about the money troubles girlie. I know that you have been fighting so hard to get ahead and you guys work hard to and need to see some rewards as well as I do! I know that the car issues are such a headache but like you said the good news is that you do not work a millon miles away anymore. I am glad that you got a new job! Congrats see your work s paying off! That pay rate is great down here so it must be really good out there! I am glad for you and hopeful that it will make some of these money troubles a thing of the past for you and your family. I pray you guys pull of the school clothes thing! You always do. I am sure you will.
Codey, geez, he is giving you a run for your money huh? Great with the punching a girl. It will get better he has a great mommy...he is just becoming a teenager AHHH
Autumn, boyfriend? boundaries? OMG I am not sure I am ready to hear this stuff. GOd bless you. I have anxiety reading it!!!
Caleb, so cute and you playing with him with Action figures for 45 minutes is way longer the I would last Good mommy not bad mommy! Gabbie is trying to get me to help her wash the dishes now so I am going to go in a moment.
What's going on with Jaden?
Girl... I have met some wonder BCBAS with lots of brains, funny you bring up the bar because the one I love is also a JD lol.... Wierd combo kinda... Laws and laws of behavior? Hmm the irony in Maria's life the BCBA is that she did everything right studied hard got married house job great life waitied until 35 to have a baby to be ready worked like the devil with kiddos with autism... Has a baby....And he is autistic. Now, she really needed her education to the max. I guess this is why god lead her in that direction right? So she could teachher son and stand up for his rights?
Anyway I also met some BIRD BRAINS that are, ummm not up to your standard at all and they PASSED THE EXAM!!!! Stop talking yourself down!!! You can do if you want it and so what ifworse comes to worse you have to try a few times. YOU are scoring 90s in your exams and classes etc. Don't tell me that you dont think you CAN do it. If you are not sure if you WANT to that is one thing but you CAN do it if you WANT it.
Love you.
Keep up all the good work with the kids, work, and your therapist. Someday I think we will get a break. Or let's pretend.
Today is going to have to start for me now as I am still in my pjs and have a millon things to do before I take off to a concert tonight with my bird and my sister. Take care love....
Friday, July 22, 2011
Hey
Hey lady,
Sorry I'm just now getting on here. One way I kind of have been avoiding it for personal emotional reasons yet the other way, I really miss being on here and seeing your posts.
First and foremost, CONGRATULATIONS on your promotion at work! It was a long time coming and you deserve it! I'm so proud of you!
I know both of your posts had inferences to your weight and I know how frustrating and difficult it can be. For you it is even more difficult because you are on the go all day long. But you're right about one thing, you can buy an insulted lunchbox that has a frozen gel pad you can put in it and you can pack your lunch. It will be better for you in the long run. Will it not only save you money but it will save you 1000's of empty calories a month! You will do it, you've done it before. I know your schedule is crazy, but I have been told to take my planner and pencil in an hour of exercise for me a day and that way it is just like keeping an appointment. I don't know how heavy your case load is right now, but even 30 minutes a day would be better than nothing.
I think it's great that you're doing so much with the kids. They will appreciate it later in life. You're doing an amazing job as a what could be called "single mother." I know John is there and helps sometimes but you are still the main caregiver. The swim thing is amazing. I love being in the water. Unfortunately here we don't have any public pools that you can get season passes to. We have the natatorium at the High School Gym, but there are always so many people there and even if I could get there early, the police officers go work out there at that time, and there is no way I am going to go try and swim when there are a bunch of men around. But you are doing a great job and even holding wiggly Gabbie in the water is still helping you burn some calories.
I really miss talking to you too. You're right it has everything to do with us being so busy, not to mention the time difference. Trust me there are days where I could really use a shoulder to cry on, a pair of ears to vent to, or just a hug from my best friend, but maybe one day that will happen. Grad school is alot, I'm not going to lie. It's one of the hardest things I've ever had to do, but I think it is because my undergrad degree was in Criminal Justice not Psychology so what I am learning now is a foreign language. I know you would love to have me get my degree and move up there, but to be honest, I don't know if I am going to be smart enough to take the national exam to be a BCBA. It is one of the most difficult tests out there, I've been told above and beyond the bar exam for lawyers. I'm not going to lie, I would love to work along side you. I think we would make a great team.
You do need to get your computer fixed before school! Then maybe you can find 10 or 15 minutes to get on here and spout off a few little blurbs when you can. I think this is one of our biggest communication mediums. You will be fine doing your interning and your degree, it's going to be a bear, but you are going to do it. I understand 100% about missing the kids and being so busy. Trust me.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Okay, so moving onto some of my updates:
- Jeff's car broke down yesterday: I think we threw a rod.
- As usual we are struggling to pay the bills
- Caleb smashed his thumb in the screen door so it's all black
- Codey pushed down a girl at the Boys & Girls club causing a contusion on her temple
- I still don't know when I will start at the Carlsbad Police Department.
- And to put the whip cream on the ice cream, I just looked at Kayleigh's old blog and it made me feel so sad.
- I don't know if we are going to have the money to pay for school supplies and clothes/shoes for the kids.
So, there it is in a nutshell.
I think Jeff's car is going to be at least $1500 to fix and there is no way in hell that we have that type of money. The positives out of this are that a.) I don't have to drive an obscene amount of miles to work b.) Jeff and I can figure out a way to share the truck c.) if and when I can get started at CPD then I will be making $21.49 an hour. Someone was telling me though that we pay 50% of our PERA (retirement) dues whereas when I was with the county I only paid 10%. So, I don't know how much money I will be seeing, but I am hoping that it will be at least $1400-1500 every 2 weeks.
Oh, there's more! My mom is getting married August 7th and Jeff has to leave town right afterward to go to San Antonio, TX for a nuclear conference. If I am working at CPD by that time, I am probably going to be on night shift and have to take the kids to El Paso on the 7th and my mom will be bringing them back on the 10th so they can start school on the 11th. Which is when Jeff will back.
I'm doing alright in school, my quiz grades have been anywhere from a 70 to a 90. I am looking forward to the next set of classes that I am due to start in August sometime. But to be honest, I don't know if this is what I really want to do or not. I have NEVER known what I want to do with my life. I enjoy reading and learning about all of this, but I really don't think that I am going to be smart enough to finish and take the national cert so I can actually do something with my degree.
The kids are doing ok. Codey is Codey. Jadon is trying new things as he moves along the ages and Autumn is doing well. She's pushing the boundaries in regard to her boyfriend and stuff, but I think she's doing the right things. Caleb is a whole other story. He plays as if he were Batman/Superman/Bain/Hulk probably 65% of his day. There is a portion of his day where he constantly wants someone to sit with him and play with his action figures, which I do, but after about 45 minutes, I get tired of it. I know bad mommy. Then there are the times where he demands certain things, or cries at every breath I take. He is super clingy at night, no doubt because I have been working.
I too am struggling with my weight. I am back up to 210 where I had been down to 205. I am currently talking to my therapist about this and my self image. Speaking of which, therapy is helping a little bit, I feel like a weight is lifted off my shoulders when I get to go.
I have been taking Effexor XR 75 mg for about a month now and I don't know if it is helping or not. I am beginning to think that a.) I am bi-polar and need other meds or b.) I am meant to be perpetually sad and disconnected.
Alright girlie, I am done. Sorry for the heaviness of the post, I wish it was lighter in nature. I'm sure you don't want to read the blah of my posts.
I will make the next one lighter.
Love you lots,
Jenn
Tuesday, July 19, 2011
hey
hey girlie.
i went to weight watchers last night and I lost a pound and a half back of the weight that I gained when I took the kids on vacation. I am getting super frustrated that it is so slow this time. I have been at this for a while and I know that I am not making all the best choices hence why it is not working all that well. But what I dont get is what my problem is! I know that I am really busy and I am but girl I was doing so much better the last time. I think I just miss you and I know that I need to get more exercise and pack my darn lunch.
Sorry just felt the need to vent.
I hope you are doing well and I hope that one of these days you come on here and are surprised to see a few little blobs. It would be so wonderful if I got to this more often. I know I should and want to. I know part of it is that I still have not fixed my computer which I absolutely need to do before I go back to school!! It is so hard to believe that the summer is half over and that in about a month I will be starting classes again. OMG and the bigger thing is that I will be interning. I pray that I find a way to get through this year of interning working full time because next year is going to be really tough and this year the internship I have is flexible I am not sure that I will get that again. I know that I will have to cut my hours at work next year. SO I want to get the most out of this year that I can. It is sad because I know that I will be so busy and have alot of time missing my kiddos. I know that in the long run it is for the best and I tell myself that everyday when I get up and rush around to leave for work. I feel bad leaving them but what I am going to do I have to work. As we all do. I was thinking about taking the last week of august off to be with the kids but now I am thinking that maybe I need to start looking at the calender and do it a bit sooner.
Summer is flying by. I am sure for you all the more since you kiddos go back to school before mine.
Either way I am about to meet with the BCBA. I wish it was you!!!
Crystal
i went to weight watchers last night and I lost a pound and a half back of the weight that I gained when I took the kids on vacation. I am getting super frustrated that it is so slow this time. I have been at this for a while and I know that I am not making all the best choices hence why it is not working all that well. But what I dont get is what my problem is! I know that I am really busy and I am but girl I was doing so much better the last time. I think I just miss you and I know that I need to get more exercise and pack my darn lunch.
Sorry just felt the need to vent.
I hope you are doing well and I hope that one of these days you come on here and are surprised to see a few little blobs. It would be so wonderful if I got to this more often. I know I should and want to. I know part of it is that I still have not fixed my computer which I absolutely need to do before I go back to school!! It is so hard to believe that the summer is half over and that in about a month I will be starting classes again. OMG and the bigger thing is that I will be interning. I pray that I find a way to get through this year of interning working full time because next year is going to be really tough and this year the internship I have is flexible I am not sure that I will get that again. I know that I will have to cut my hours at work next year. SO I want to get the most out of this year that I can. It is sad because I know that I will be so busy and have alot of time missing my kiddos. I know that in the long run it is for the best and I tell myself that everyday when I get up and rush around to leave for work. I feel bad leaving them but what I am going to do I have to work. As we all do. I was thinking about taking the last week of august off to be with the kids but now I am thinking that maybe I need to start looking at the calender and do it a bit sooner.
Summer is flying by. I am sure for you all the more since you kiddos go back to school before mine.
Either way I am about to meet with the BCBA. I wish it was you!!!
Crystal
Monday, July 18, 2011
too long
What esle is new?
I know it has been too long.
but I am at work and had a down moment so I figured that I would pop in and say hi. I have big news! I got my promotion at work that I have been working on forever! I do not know how much money that means right now but the good news is that it does mean more money. However with the idea that there are so many people that are losing their jobs as we speak I am not counting my money yet.
I am okay still continuing to struggle losing this weight that I put back on. It has been insanely slow this time and I do not work out nearly as often as I should. I have to figure out a way to get more activity into my day and I make every excuse for it. I am down about 14 pounds now back to about 173. I hate that a while ago I was 153 and complaining then. Gees.
I am working like crazy and trying to do as much possible with the kids as I can. I signed up Gabbie for a music together class she loves to sing and dance and this is a great combination of both. I signed up Darren for football of course again and now I signed us up for the pool passes at our town. This means that the whole family can swim for the year and I am hoping that this will get some more movement in for me. It is hard though because I still really have to hold Gabbie and she is such a wiggle worm so I dont really swim all that much. Whatever I am moving anyhow!
I really miss talking to you and I cannot believe that this happened. It is not like I love you any less or do not want to talk to you but we both got so busy. I think a big part of it is that the kids are not so little anymore the babies that is so when we or at least I get on the phone the little bit of time that i am home with all that shit I do the kids drive me crazy. I know alot of it is grad school as well. I am sure that you understand seeing as you are in the middle of doing the same thing. I just assigned a BCBA to a case with a child to work with me everyweek for about 4 hours. She gets over a 100 an hour for that work. I wish you would finish the degree and get down here where there is so much work for someone in your field. WE can work together as a team. I can be the social worker for the family and you can write the behavior plan. It can be so much fun.
I miss you and I hope that you are ok and that all your kids and your husband is well. I promise that I am coming to visit you after school. That is 22 months away. I know that seems like forever but girl it really isn't! You know look at our kids they are already 38 is it months so this is less time then that and that time flew! Love ya.
Crystal
I know it has been too long.
but I am at work and had a down moment so I figured that I would pop in and say hi. I have big news! I got my promotion at work that I have been working on forever! I do not know how much money that means right now but the good news is that it does mean more money. However with the idea that there are so many people that are losing their jobs as we speak I am not counting my money yet.
I am okay still continuing to struggle losing this weight that I put back on. It has been insanely slow this time and I do not work out nearly as often as I should. I have to figure out a way to get more activity into my day and I make every excuse for it. I am down about 14 pounds now back to about 173. I hate that a while ago I was 153 and complaining then. Gees.
I am working like crazy and trying to do as much possible with the kids as I can. I signed up Gabbie for a music together class she loves to sing and dance and this is a great combination of both. I signed up Darren for football of course again and now I signed us up for the pool passes at our town. This means that the whole family can swim for the year and I am hoping that this will get some more movement in for me. It is hard though because I still really have to hold Gabbie and she is such a wiggle worm so I dont really swim all that much. Whatever I am moving anyhow!
I really miss talking to you and I cannot believe that this happened. It is not like I love you any less or do not want to talk to you but we both got so busy. I think a big part of it is that the kids are not so little anymore the babies that is so when we or at least I get on the phone the little bit of time that i am home with all that shit I do the kids drive me crazy. I know alot of it is grad school as well. I am sure that you understand seeing as you are in the middle of doing the same thing. I just assigned a BCBA to a case with a child to work with me everyweek for about 4 hours. She gets over a 100 an hour for that work. I wish you would finish the degree and get down here where there is so much work for someone in your field. WE can work together as a team. I can be the social worker for the family and you can write the behavior plan. It can be so much fun.
I miss you and I hope that you are ok and that all your kids and your husband is well. I promise that I am coming to visit you after school. That is 22 months away. I know that seems like forever but girl it really isn't! You know look at our kids they are already 38 is it months so this is less time then that and that time flew! Love ya.
Crystal
Monday, May 9, 2011
Scared
Hey Crys,
How's it going lady? Good I hope. I called you on Sunday to wish you a happy mothers day and tell Gabbie happy birthday, I just hope you got the message. Caleb had a really good day today, nothing special but he spent the day with me (although I was busy on the stupid computer) and we did have a small cake for his birthday. We do not have any money for gifts, so we will be getting those later for him. The good thing is that he didn't even expect it. I keep sitting here remembering 3 years ago at this time I hadn't even gotten to meet him yet and when I did I couldn't hold him because he was under the oxygen tent. I remember how his chest and ribs would contract when he would breath. So sad. But, today he is happy and healthy and one heck of a devil from time to time!
Tonight he was sitting at the computer with the boys and I am trying a new reading enhancement program out and he was sitting there and listening to all the letters, looking at the pictures, and was even able to identify a couple of the letters and was always right when he had to match the picture to the word! The other night he completely surprised me because he was playing with Codey's LOOPZ game and was able to follow the patterned rhythm up to about 5 long. I couldn't believe it. I just let him keep playing because I am sure that it is helping him somewhere in the active brain of his.
So, I am super scared about the classes that I am taking this semester. Much of the stuff that is in the book I have no idea what they are talking about and yet I have heard you talk about it like 2nd nature. I know I haven't been immersed in the field, but goodness, I don't know if I can do this.
Okay, there is so much more, but nothing I want to bother you with. I don't see my therapist for 2 weeks, on the 20th, so I have quite a bit of time that I have to try and get through. He said if it gets bad I can always go in if he has an opening. I'm having a hard time understanding how exactly he is going to help me because he doesn't do inpsych therapy. He said he doesn't because the past doesnt really matter if it gets dealt with or not, in other words he doesn't want to rehash it, rather he wants to give me the tools necessary to deal with the emotions and feelings that I have. I don't know if this is a good thing or a bad thing. What do you think?
Have a good night, hope school is going well and that everything is good with the kids.
Love ya lots,
Jenn
How's it going lady? Good I hope. I called you on Sunday to wish you a happy mothers day and tell Gabbie happy birthday, I just hope you got the message. Caleb had a really good day today, nothing special but he spent the day with me (although I was busy on the stupid computer) and we did have a small cake for his birthday. We do not have any money for gifts, so we will be getting those later for him. The good thing is that he didn't even expect it. I keep sitting here remembering 3 years ago at this time I hadn't even gotten to meet him yet and when I did I couldn't hold him because he was under the oxygen tent. I remember how his chest and ribs would contract when he would breath. So sad. But, today he is happy and healthy and one heck of a devil from time to time!
Tonight he was sitting at the computer with the boys and I am trying a new reading enhancement program out and he was sitting there and listening to all the letters, looking at the pictures, and was even able to identify a couple of the letters and was always right when he had to match the picture to the word! The other night he completely surprised me because he was playing with Codey's LOOPZ game and was able to follow the patterned rhythm up to about 5 long. I couldn't believe it. I just let him keep playing because I am sure that it is helping him somewhere in the active brain of his.
So, I am super scared about the classes that I am taking this semester. Much of the stuff that is in the book I have no idea what they are talking about and yet I have heard you talk about it like 2nd nature. I know I haven't been immersed in the field, but goodness, I don't know if I can do this.
Okay, there is so much more, but nothing I want to bother you with. I don't see my therapist for 2 weeks, on the 20th, so I have quite a bit of time that I have to try and get through. He said if it gets bad I can always go in if he has an opening. I'm having a hard time understanding how exactly he is going to help me because he doesn't do inpsych therapy. He said he doesn't because the past doesnt really matter if it gets dealt with or not, in other words he doesn't want to rehash it, rather he wants to give me the tools necessary to deal with the emotions and feelings that I have. I don't know if this is a good thing or a bad thing. What do you think?
Have a good night, hope school is going well and that everything is good with the kids.
Love ya lots,
Jenn
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